How to Survive in a Long-Distance Relationship
Surviving a long-distance relationship can be challenging. But, you can do things to turn the survival of your relationship into an enjoyable experience.
Here are some tips on how to survive in a long-distance relationship:
1. Remind yourself why you are in a long-distance relationship.
2. Talk to your partner about how and when you started your relationship.
3. Agree with your partner on what do you expect from a long-distance relationship.
4. Make a plan on how long your long-distance relationship will last and when and how you will move in together.
5. Agree on how and how often you are going to communicate with each other.
6. Set the dates for your visits.
7. Visit each other as frequently as you can.
8. Talk about your feelings, thoughts, and doubts to maintain an emotional connection.
In this article, we’ll talk about the most common areas of concern in a long-distance relationship.
You are unique, and so is your relationship, so I won’t tell you what you have to do. Instead, I will help you find the answers about what works best for your relationship.
Can a Relationship Survive Long-Distance?
A relationship can survive long-distance if you see it for what it is, and know what to expect. Many couples expect a long-distance relationship to be the same as a face to face relationship, but it’s not. Maybe in your mind, you realise that things are different, but you may treat it in the same way in practice.
The first and by far, the most critical question is: what do you want from this relationship? It’s also important to know what your partner wants. Once you are clear on what both of you want, it’s time to understand what does a long-distance relationship mean to you and how does it align with the way your partner sees it.
Is It Possible to Survive a Long-Distance Relationship?
It’s possible to survive a long-distance relationship if you know why you want your relationship to survive. Is it a temporary situation for a short period? Or Is it the type of relationship that you wish for at this point in your life? Whatever your circumstances, the key to a successful relationship is to be on the same page as your partner.
For this, both of you need to know what you want, and share it in a way that both of you can understand each other’s feelings and desires. Most people expect their partner to guess what they want before they even know it.
Assumptions and unwarranted conclusions can create a great deal of confusion. In a long-distance relationship, you have plenty of time for yourself. So, use this time to:
- Reflect on what you want for yourself and your relationship.
- Communicate what you want to your partner. If you don’t say it, your partner doesn’t know it.
- Listen to what your partner wants.
Some people believe that if they think something, their partner should know it, and there’s no need to express it directly. You should say it or write it down in a letter or a text. Follow the three steps above to do it properly.
How Do Long-Distance Relationships Survive Long Term?
The long-distance in a relationship is not meant to last for an extended period. When you are in a romantic relationship, you expect physical intimacy. In the long-distance relationship, physical intimacy is only possible during your visits.
While a long-distance relationship can work well for a few months, at some point, the lack of physical intimacy can turn into sexual frustration. This frustration can spill into other aspects of your life and your relationship and controlling it.
How to Survive an International Long-Distance Relationship?
One of the problems of trying to survive an international long-distance relationship is the time difference.
The more significant the time difference, the more challenging it’s to maintain a connection with your long-distance partner. One problem with the time difference is syncing your schedules to talk at the same time.
Another problem with the time difference is that at the same moment you can be on different points of your day. For example, one of you may have a break at work and are eager to talk, while the other is busy after work and needs to have a rest.
To deal with time differences in a long-distance relationship, try to plan ahead.
Learn about each other’s schedules and the best times to talk. It’s better to talk less often but at the time that suits both of you. Trying to force the conversation when you are tired or busy, isn’t going to work.
How to Survive a Long-Distance Relationship Sexually?
The only way to survive a long-distance relationship sexually is to schedule frequent visits and spontaneous trips together.
In between your visits you can talk dirty over the phone or have virtual sex. There are also some interactive toys you can play with online.
While these things can work for a few months, trying to survive a long-distance relationship for an extended period isn’t going to work. You can try to make your long-distance relationship last as long as you can, but if you’re unfulfilled and unhappy, then what’s the point?
How to Survive a Long-Distance Open Relationship?
An open long-distance relationship is an option for some couples. Suppose you have a deep emotional connection and complete trust. In that case, you can consider an open long-distance relationship to satisfy your sexual needs.
Lack of physical intimacy is one of the biggest problems that couples face in a long-distance relationship. Without sexual intimacy, a romantic relationship becomes a friendship.
I suppose you are planning to stay in a long-distance relationship for a few months. In that case, you can maintain intimacy through frequent visits and open and honest communication. However, suppose your long-distance relationship lasts longer than that. In that case, a lack of sexual intimacy can become a problem that can ruin your relationship.
You may find yourself in a situation where you can’t visit each other, and your sexual needs are unfulfilled. Then, perhaps consider becoming friends or having an open long-distance relationship.
To survive an open long-distance relationship, you need to be completely open and transparent with your partner. Open relationships only work when both partners agree to it. If only one of you is ok with an open relationship and gets to sleep with others, the other partner will suffer silently because an open relationship doesn’t work for them.
You can always talk about having an open long-distance relationship and even try it. But if it doesn’t work for either of you, you should stop it and find a different way to deal with your needs.
Can a New Relationship Survive Long-Distance?
Long-distance can work pretty well for a new relationship. You can easily spend a couple of months getting to know each other online. There is much to talk about when you start a new relationship.
You can learn about each other’s past, explore each other’s interests, values, and beliefs. If your conversations flow and you enjoy talking to each other, you should meet each other in real life.
Until you meet a person in real, you are having a relationship with an idea you’ve created in your head about this person, rather than with an actual human being. After you meet a few times, consider moving in together for a short while to see what it’s like living together, provided you enjoy being together.
How to Survive a Long-Distance Relationship in College?
A college is a place of study, fun, and new experiences. Having a long-distance relationship in college can feel a drag. You may find yourself drawn in between trying to maintain a relationship with someone who isn’t there and enjoying your time with people around you.
Suppose you decide to maintain a long-distance relationship in college. In that case, you can try to survive it by balancing your relationship and your college life. However, it’s not going to be easy.
The more time you spend enjoying your life in college, the less time you spend with your long-distance partner, and the more distance you will have in your relationship.
At the same time, if you spend a lot of time talking to your long-distance partner, you’re going to miss out on getting to know new people, study, and have fun in college.
How to Survive a Long-Distance Marriage?
Sometimes the long-distance comes into your marriage due to job relocation or for some other reason.
Marriage is a more significant commitment than any other relationship. Nonetheless, a long-distance relationship works the same for married couples as it does for couples who are not married. You are still going to have a lack of physical intimacy and some breakdowns in communication.
If you know how to handle a long-distance relationship and deal with problems that come with being apart, you can maintain it for a few months.
However, you may start drifting apart if your long distant marriage lasts for too long. Once your feelings change, you may have to reassess your marriage.
Can a Long-Distance Relationship Survive Cheating?
Cheating is a combination of lying and satisfying sexual needs. In a long-distance relationship, there is a lack of physical intimacy between you and your partner.
When your need for sexual intimacy becomes significant, you might be tempted to sleep with someone else. In these situations sleeping with someone outside of a relationship can happen to anyone. If it does, you should discuss it with your partner.
One thing that is worse than sleeping with someone else is lying about it. If you have trust in your relationship, you can find understanding and work through your issues.
The moment you start lying, your relationship may not even be worth saving.
Suppose cheating continues and goes beyond a one-off experience. In that case, that is a sign of a relationship that is no longer working. In this case, You should discuss your feelings and thoughts with your partner and re-evaluate whether to continue with this relationship or not.
How to Survive a Long-Distance Relationship Without Communication?
A long-distance relationship without communication isn’t worth your time. Communication is the only way you can maintain a connection in a long-distance relationship. If you don’t talk to each other, you don’t have much of a relationship.
Suppose you are in a long-distance relationship without communication. It can be due to your attachment to this person or a fear of being alone. Whatever your reason, it’s best if you face your issues and resolve them.
Staying in a relationship that isn’t working is a waste of your time. Resolve your issues or find yourself someone that can contribute to your life, rather than take the time away from your life.
Signs You Are Surviving a Long-Distance Relationship Rather than Enjoying It
- Trying to please your partner
- Feeling responsible for your partner’s feelings
- Thinking you know them inside out
- You are compromising and expecting your partner to compromise
- You judge what’s important for your partner and they judge you
- You expect your partner to know what you want without telling them
- At least one of you is unable to express your feelings
- You mainly talk about who did what
- You feel distant from your partner
- One of you makes final decisions
- You are not clear on the days and times to talk
- You don’t have a clear plan for living together
- One of you is calling more often than the other
- You are often sitting, waiting for the phone or text
- One of you is not happy with the frequency of your conversations
- One of you wants physical intimacy more than the other
- You are not aware of this difference
- You don’t have an agreement on how can the person who wants more frequent physical intimacy satisfy it
- There is no plan to visit each other
- No plan for when you are together and what you do in-between visits, other than miss each other and wait for the next time you are together.
- While apart, you wait for the next visit, instead of having fun with your own life
Key to Surviving a Long-Distance Relationship
Being away from the person you love isn’t easy. Lack of physical intimacy and a different style of communication can take its toll on your relationship. While long-distance has its challenges, it also presents certain opportunities often overlooked by most couples.
To survive a long-distance relationship, you need to know how to maintain an emotional connection with your partner. The lack of physical closeness creates a desire for touch. So, the first step is to recognise how strong is this desire and how much it affects your relationship.
Take a look at what’s going on with your desires, feelings and behaviour regarding your long-distance relationship.
Tips on How to Survive a Long-Distance Relationship
- Continue your self-development.
- Know what is important to you and how much.
- Learn to talk about your feelings. Have a list of words that describe feelings in front of you.
- Always make your plans together.
- Agree on when is the best time to call each other and how often.
- Recognise the importance of physical intimacy for yourself and your partner.
- Use the time apart to achieve your personal goals.
Will Your Relationship Survive Long-Distance?
To give your long-distance relationship the best chance at survival, you need to have a plan. In a long-distance relationship, it is essential to have a plan and a timeline.
The unknown can excite, but it can also be scary. Having a plan and a timeline will put your mind at ease. It can reassure you about the state of your relationship and relieve the pressure of doubts.
Avoid planning on your own and informing your partner of your decisions. Make ’S.M.A.R.T.’ goals and make a plan together. I am not a fan of acronyms, but this one did the trick for me: Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant and Time bound.
Set a date for your next visit and plan something exciting for the meanwhile. If you don’t have a specific plan and a timeline, don’t expect anything specific to happen.
To survive a long-distance relationship, first, let go of the idea that it is survival. Distance is an opportunity to connect with your partner more lovingly and improve your existing relationship.
A long-distance relationship is a blend of a relationship and the distance. Often, it’s a romantic relationship, so you expect physical closeness. But, the distance makes it challenging to have physical closeness, leaving you sad, frustrated and disappointed, all at the same time.
It’s hard to maintain a healthy relationship without physical intimacy. So, how can you remain connected over the distance and survive a long-distance relationship?
The long-distance can turn the joy into sadness and your relationship into a struggle. But your long-distance relationship doesn’t have to be a struggle. You can use the time apart to work on different aspects of your relationship. You are in a relationship to bring joy into your life and share it with the person you love.
While apart, you can learn better about each other’s preferences and values. When you visit each other, you can test what you’ve learnt and see how it plays out in face to face scenarios.
Need an LDR Coach?
- Send me a message and describe your situation
- I’ll get back to you with some thoughts & ideas
- We’ll arrange a video call to discuss your relationship in more detail
Frequently Asked Questions
How do I survive a long-distance relationship?
You can survive a long-distance relationship by working on your communication, having a plan and a timeline for maintaining physical intimacy through frequent visits. Poor communication leads to confusion and unnecessary arguments. Effective communication can I help you resolve your problems and maintain the connection.
Can I survive a long-distance relationship?
You can survive a long-distance relationship, but you should really enjoy it. If you miss your partner for the few months that you have to be apart, that’s one thing. However, if your long-distance relationship lasts longer than that, it will increase your suffering. It helps to know your reason for staying in a relationship that brings you suffering rather than finding a relationship that brings you joy.
Can we survive a long-distance relationship?
If you are in a long-distance relationship, discuss with your partner what is working and what isn’t. Try to work out your issues and find solutions to the problems. When you do, you can shift your focus and mindset towards enjoying a healthy and happy long-distance relationship, rather than trying to survive one.
What is the best way to survive a long-distance relationship?
The best way to survive a long-distance relationship is to turn it from survival into enjoyment. If you find yourself trying to survive a long-distance relationship, stop and reassess whether it’s worth it or not. Relationships are supposed to bring you joy and fulfilment.
How do you survive a long-distance relationship for a long period of time?
Long-distance relationships are not supposed to last for a long time. If it’s a romantic relationship, you need physical intimacy. You can maintain a romantic relationship over a long-distance for a few months with frequent visits, sexting, and virtual sex. However, at some point, the lack of physical intimacy will transform your romantic relationship into a friendship. If this happens, go with it and remain friends. Friendship will allow you to maintain trust, and connection with each other, while being open to forming a romantic relationship with somebody who you can be with physically.
Will my long-distance relationship survive?
Whether or not your long-distance relationship will survive depends on how good is your communication. Poor communication can lead to confusion, unnecessary fights and arguments. At the same time, effective communication can help you maintain emotional intimacy and connection. Also, unless you turn your relationship around from survival into enjoyment, it will become harder to maintain and will bring you more suffering.
How to survive a new long-distance relationship?
When you’re starting a new long-distance relationship, you don’t need to survive it. You cab sped the first few months of your relationship, learning about each other and having fun conversations. If you get on well together, you can visit each other. If you like each other’s company, then you can move in together and have a more serious relationship.