What Should You Not Do in a Long-Distance Relationship?

Couples Coaching Online
Long-Distance Relationship
8 min readJun 6, 2021
What Should You Not Do in a Long-Distance Relationship?

Long-distance relationships can be complicated. But, if you avoid doing certain things, you can have a healthy and successful long-distance relationship.

So, What should you not do in a long-distance relationship?

- You shouldn’t lead yourself into falling in love with an idea.

- You shouldn’t set unrealistic expectations.

- You shouldn’t make promises that will leave you feeling obligated to do something.

- You should remember that your feelings will change.

- You should allow your relationship to develop in its own time

- You should enjoy your present experience.

- You should get to know this person for who they are in real life.

In any relationship there are things we should and shouldn’t do to have a balance and healthy relationship.

Here, we’ll talk about things you should and shouldn’t do in a long-distance relationship.

Why You Should Have a Long-Distance Relationship

There are many reasons why you should have a long-distance relationship. If you’re a single person, online dating can bring you many possibilities.

When you are starting an online relationship, you can meet people from all over the world from different cultures.

Online dating sites allow you to filter by several different factors to help you narrow the search down to what’s important to you. The only problem with dating someone online is that you never really know who the person is until you meet them in real life.

If you are already in a relationship and have to be apart for some time from your partner, this long-distance relationship can be a great way to stay emotionally connected and catch up with some personal goals you may have.

With proper management and planning of your long-distance relationship, you can not only make it work, but you can also have a lot of fun with it.

Why You Shouldn’t Do Long-Distance Relationships

You shouldn’t do a long-distance relationship if you don’t have a clear idea of what do you want to achieve from it.

As we have seen in other articles, romantic relationships include physical intimacy. In a long-distance relationship, physical intimacy is only possible when you visit each other occasionally. So, while it can work well for a few months, if it lasts too long, your long-distance relationship may bring you more suffering than joy.

Another reason you shouldn’t do a long-distance relationship is if you don’t have a set plan to achieve what you want.

Some couples get stuck in a long-distance relationship, feeling sad and frustrated most of the time, wishing they could be together. But, unless you have a clear plan, a timeline and the means to move in together, your long-distance relationship won’t bring you happiness.

Should You Talk Every Day in a Long-Distance Relationship?

When you are in a long-distance relationship, you may want to talk or text your long-distance partner as much as possible.

The reason long-distance couples spend a lot of time messaging and talking to each other is that they want to feel close, to feel connected.

Spending too much time talking in messaging with your long-distance partner can lead to excessive communication. Excessive communication can result in boring conversations and take time away from your real life.

Once you learn to communicate effectively with your partner, you can have a healthy and successful long-distance relationship.

You should have a balance between the quality of communication and the quantity. In other words, it’s better to talk less about something interesting rather than spend a lot of time talking about nothing.

It’s fine to talk every day, as long as it doesn’t take away from the things that you or your partner should be doing in your everyday life.

Should you have an open long-distance relationship?

If the lack of physical intimacy becomes too much, you should consider an open long-distance relationship.

As long as you have a strong emotional connection and an understanding, fulfilling your physical needs with other people could be an option.

Some people see an open long-distance relationship as sharing their long-distance partner with someone else. However, they should understand that they don’t own their long-distance partner.

A relationship is formed when two people share their time and space. In a long-distance relationship, you can only share time and only occasionally space.

Having an open long-distance relationship presents a risk of developing feelings for other people. But, if that happens, it’s okay. It can be a sign that your bond isn’t strong enough. It may also be a sign that what holds the two of you together is attachment, fear of being alone or something else that would need to be explored.

Things to Do in a Long-Distance Relationship

There are many things you can do to make your relationship healthier and more successful.

The first thing is to realise that long-distance relationships are different from regular ones. They differ in the way you communicate with each other, how often you can be physically together, and the dynamic of your relationship in general.

Long-distance relationships work well for a short while. That’s why you must agree with your long-distance partner on how long your long-distance relationship will last. And bring to the table whether you both like move in together at some point.

Your primary way of communicating in a long-distance relationship is by online means. When you are apart, you will rely on how well you can express yourself through words.

When you are physically together, your behaviour and physical intimacy can express your feelings and intentions better than words. But, in a long-distance relationship what you don’t say, goes unnoticed.

Lack of physical intimacy can lead to sexual frustration. That’s why you should plan to have regular visits as much as possible. You can either visit each other in their own homes or have a holiday together in a different place every time.

Things not to Do in a Long-Distance Relationship

There are some things you shouldn’t do in a long-distance relationship. For example, you shouldn’t have fights that you cannot resolve.

It’s tough to express your emotions and feelings to someone who is in front of you. In long-distance relationships, with everything they involve, long-distance partners tend to experience a lot of doubts and frustrations.

Doubts and frustrations have a source that you need to explore to have a healthy long-distance relationship. Learning to resolve your issues peacefully and with understanding will help you create a more harmonious relationship.

When Should You Give up on a Long-Distance Relationship?

You may find yourself in a long-distance relationship that isn’t working. The two real options you have is to figure out why is not working and tried to fix it or to end your long-distance relationship.

If you are thinking about whether or not you should give up on your long-distance relationship, first, you should change this thinking. Giving up on your long-distance relationship is a negative way to see a problem to which you cannot find a solution. This thinking can make you feel weak and powerless.

The first thing you should do is re-evaluate how you see a long-distance relationship. Not all long-distance relationships work out. Long-distance relationships that don’t work have many reasons for not doing it.

Once you realise that you are not giving up on your long-distance relationship, you can see your situation for what it is. You will feel that you have the power to understand what isn’t working in your long-distance relationship.

Maybe your feelings have changed, or perhaps being away from your romantic partner leaves you feeling alone and frustrated.

You shouldn’t make unilateral decisions when you are in a long-distance relationship. Even if you decide to end your long-distance relationship, talk to your partner and make the decision together.

Whatever doesn’t work in your long-distance relationship, you can always figure it out. Once you understand what works and what doesn’t work for yourself, you should talk to your long-distance partner about your thoughts and ideas. Together you can decide on something that works for both of you.

Conclusion

Long-distance relationships can be great for some couples in some situations.

Long-distance relationships are different from regular ones. The way you communicate with your long-distance partner is different, and the fact that you will have a lack of physical intimacy.

You can have a healthy and successful long-distance relationship if you know how to manage it well. To do that you have to know things you should and shouldn’t do in your long-distance relationship.

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Frequently Asked Questions

What should we not do in a long-distance relationship?

You shouldn’t have a long-distance relationship without a plan, and you shouldn’t communicate too much while in a long-distance relationship.

How do I survive a long-distance relationship?

Suppose you feel that you’re surviving a long-distance relationship rather than enjoying it. In that case, you should re-evaluate why you are in this long-distance relationship.

Can distance kill a relationship?

Distance changes the dynamic of your relationship. In a long-distance relationship, you should learn the way to communicate with each other and make a plan to see each other regularly.

Is long-distance a reason to break up?

Long-distance isn’t a reason to break up. But the distance can separate you not only physically, but emotionally. When this happens, you may feel like wanting to break up.

Is 2 hours away long-distance relationship?

A common problem in the long-distance relationship isn’t the distance or the time it takes to bridge this gap. The concern for most couples is to have the means to see each other as much as they would like.

How do you know if he is cheating in a long-distance relationship?

If you suspect your long-distance partner is cheating on you, this is a sign that you don’t trust them. They might be cheating, or they might be not. But the fact that you already doubt their honesty, it’s a problem.

How do you know if a long-distance relationship is serious?

You know your long-distance relationship is serious if you have a clear plan and a timeline for getting back together in a few months. If you are married or in a committed relationship, you may choose to sacrifice your feelings, needs and preferences to keep your long-distance relationship going. But you should ask yourself if it’s worth it.

How long do most long-distance relationships last?

Long-distance relationships last as long as each couple made them last. Just because you’re long-distance relationship last for years, it doesn’t make it healthy.

How often do couples in long-distance relationships talk?

Couples in long-distance relationships try to talk every day. While it’s okay to talk every day, you should take care not to spend too much time talking about nothing. When you’re in a long-distance relationship, you should live your own life as well as making your long-distance relationship work.

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