What to Do When a Long-Distance Relationship Is Falling Apart?

Couples Coaching Online
Long-Distance Relationship
7 min readMay 21, 2021
What to Do When a Long-Distance Relationship Is Falling Apart?

A long-distance relationship can start falling apart for several reasons. Depending on what went wrong, there are different things you can do to handle your relationship in a healthy way.

Here are a few things you can do to help you understand what’s happening in your relationship and give you an idea of what to do when your long-distance relationship is falling apart.

1. Have some time to yourself to understand how you feel in your long-distance relationship.

2. Make a list of things that you believe are not working for you or your relationship.

3. Talk to your long-distance partner about your thoughts, feelings, ideas, and concerns about your long-distance relationship.

4. Allow your partner the time to reflect on everything you told them.

5. If you can, meet in real life to discuss your relationship if you can’t arrange a video call.

6. Avoid talking about these critical issues over the text or the phone.

After you’ve been in a long-distance relationship for some time, and it’s not going anywhere, your relationship may start falling apart. You begin to lose interest, and your feelings may fade away.

In this article, we’ll have a look at things you can do to fix your relationship.

Why Do Long-Distance Relationships Falling Apart?

Long-distance relationships fall apart because they aren’t meant to last for a long time. When couples try to maintain their long-distance relationship for longer than a few months, they begin to face many issues. Frustrations take over, feelings change, and the relationship falls apart.

One of the main issues is the lack of physical intimacy. In a romantic relationship, you expect to be physically close to your partner. Couples that are together see each other every day. This physical closeness allows couples to fulfil their need for physical intimacy.

In long-distance relationships, some couples go for weeks without seeing each other. So how can you expect to maintain a healthy romantic relationship with a partner who is away from you most of the time?

There are many situations where couples need to maintain a long-distance relationship for some time. It’s not that difficult to manage a healthy relationship over a long-distance for a few months. But even that requires trust and clear and open communication.

In a long-distance relationship, most of the communication happens over the Internet. It’s hard to express your thoughts and feelings over text messages or phone calls.

Unless you have effective communication that allows you to understand each other well, online communication can cause many misunderstandings and unnecessary arguments. After a while, your relationship won’t bring you any more joy. Without joy soon enough, your relationship falls apart.

If the long-distance in your relationship doesn’t have an end date and a plan to get there, it will be tough to maintain your relationship indefinitely.

Unless you know where your relationship is going and how long it will take to get there, your feeling of being alone, while in the relationship, may seem to last forever. At some point, you will get tired of waiting for the time when you can live together.

Drifting Apart in a Long-Distance Relationship

When you are in a long-distance relationship, you and your partner go through separate experiences in life. These experiences change each of you to the point where after a while, you are no longer the same people that started the long-distance relationship.

While you can maintain an emotional connection with effective communication online, you also need to share physical experiences. In a healthy long-distance relationship, partners visit each other as long and as often as they’d like and go on trips together.

That is an ideal relationship that few people can afford. Frequent visits and trips require time and money. And unless you have the resources to spend on your long-distance relationship, it will be hard to maintain without drifting apart.

Fading Feelings in a Long-Distance Relationship

To maintain feelings in a long-distance relationship, you need to keep an emotional intimacy via effective communication and physical intimacy through frequent visits and fun trips together.

If you don’t have clear and open communication and the money to spend to visit each other, it will be hard for you to maintain closeness with your long-distance partner.

Without intimacy of meaningful conversations and physical closeness, the feelings that you once shared for each other may begin to fade away.

The more time you spend apart, the higher the chances you have of meeting someone else. If you come across someone you like in real life, you may develop feelings towards that person. And if you spend a little bit more time with them your feelings for your long-distance partner may fade away.

Signs Your Long-Distance Relationship Is Falling Apart

  • You don’t talk as much as you used to.
  • You don’t see each other often enough.
  • You or your long-distance partner avoid meaningful conversations about your feelings and your relationship.
  • You don’t have a plan to get together.
  • You don’t make much effort towards living together.
  • Either you or your long-distance partner loses interest in each other or your relationship.

What to Do When Your Long-Distance Relationship Is Falling Apart?

When your long-distance relationship is falling apart, you can find a way to fix it or decide to end it.

To fix a relationship that is falling apart, you need to know the reason why it’s no longer working. If you decide to end your long-distance relationship, you should do it together with your partner.

Way too often, one of the partners decides to end the relationship and then looks for a way to inform the other person about it. This is the wrong way to go about finishing your long-distance relationship.

A healthier way to break up is to express your thoughts, doubts, and feelings to your long-distance partner. Once they know where you stand, they can tell you their point of view.

Once you have discussed all the issues in your long-distance relationship, together with your partner, you can try to find a way to fix the problems.

Or you may decide that it would be best for both of you to end your relationship so you can find someone else with whom you can be happy.

How Do You Fix a Long-Distance Relationship that’s Falling Apart?

If you and your long-distance partner experience some issues but are still very much in love, it’s worth trying to fix your long-distance relationship before it falls apart.

To fix issues in your relationship, you should know what these issues are. On many occasions, couples feel that something isn’t working, but they struggle to pinpoint what exactly is the problem. If this is you, one thing you can do is to get in touch with the relationship coach and get help.

Here’s one thing you can do with your long-distance partner to try and figure things out:

  • Make a list of things that you believe might be causing your problems.
  • Ask your partner to do the same.
  • Compare your lists and share your thoughts and feelings about them.

Conclusion

When long-distance relationships last a long time, sooner or later there is a chance they will fall apart. This happens for many reasons which we have discussed in this article.

If you feel that your long-distance relationship is falling apart, you can either look for ways to fix it or consider ending your relationship altogether.

Whatever you decide to do, make sure to talk to your partner openly and honestly. Take time to listen to what they have to say and together make a decision that works for both of you.

Need an LDR Coach?

  1. Send me a message and describe your situation
  2. I’ll get back to you with some thoughts & ideas
  3. We’ll arrange a video call to discuss your relationship in more detail

Frequently Asked Questions

Does love fade away in a long-distance relationship?

If a long-distance relationship lasts a long time, love and feelings can fade away. To maintain feelings in a long-distance relationship, you need clear and open communication to maintain an emotional connection. It would help if you also visit each other frequently and go on special trips together so you can maintain physical closeness.

Why is my long-distance relationship falling apart?

Your long-distance relationship can be falling apart for several reasons. One reason is the lack of physical intimacy, which is very hard to maintain in a long-distance relationship. Another reason for a relationship to fall apart is a lack of trust and effective communication. If you struggle to find understanding with your long-distance partner, you will end up having much confusion and unnecessary arguments.

How do you fix a long-distance relationship that’s falling apart?

To fix a long-distance relationship that’s falling apart, you need to understand the reason why is falling apart. Take some time to yourself to write down the list of things that you believe might be causing the issue. Share these things with your long-distance partner. Take the time to hear their point of view. Together, you can find a way to fix these issues or end your relationship.

How do you fix a relationship that’s drifting apart?

Couples drift apart in a long-distance relationship when they don’t get a chance to see each other frequently. If you don’t share everyday experiences with your long-distance partner, after a while, you will start drifting apart. The only solution to that is to increase the number of times you visit each other and go on fun trips together. Make sure to discuss meaningful things over the Internet between your visits.

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