Follow Your Heart a.k.a. Every New Year’s New Year’s Resolution
Don’t Start Dying Slowly
As you said, that time of the year…The end of the year, be your culture of religion whatever, makes you reflect on your choices. A year is as artificial as any time measurement but it serves as a chance to put your choices to perspective.
I think it’s easy to agree about the following: whatever the academic definition of happiness, each of us knows when we feel happy. How to put that into words is another task; a topic for researchers to look into and for poets to write delicately about — and for friends to have dialogue about.
As important it is to have a genuine dialogue between friends, some of the most important, life-changing conversations happen with yourself. And what better time to do that than the end of the year.
What I’m thankful for, you ask. I will give you a brief list. It’s not exhaustive …But one of the things I’m thankful for is precisely that the list of things to be thankful for is too long for one blog post. I’m thankful for many things in my life that should never be considered self-evident: family, food, income, equality, health, privilege (do I deserve privilege? No. But I have it and I need to acknowledge that).
Here we go. For things that made me feel extremely grateful in 2018.
Friends. Friends like you, who write a blog with me about all things important, who let me sleep in their place when times are hard and who write letters to their grandparents on Christmas. Friends who are inspirational, strong and intelligent. Friends who help me get my shit together when I’m lost. Friends who dare to break, dare to change and to ask for help when they are lost. Friends who are there even when we are in different cities, in different countries and in different life situations.
Travels. Talk about privilege. Including the privilege to travel just to put your own life into perspective. Once again, I had the privilege to feel, to see, to experience. To be excited, scared, joyful, ignorant, aware. It mostly took the form of cheap buses, budget flights, staying with friends and reckless economic decisions. But to be honest, I wouldn’t have it any other way. Well, I also couldn’t afford it any other way…This year I didn’t travel as much as some others, but still. It never seizes to amaze me. Traveling makes me feel alive and that’s why I prioritize it to many other things. In addition to being a privilege, seeing the world is also a choice.
Writing. Writing the blog, writing down my thoughts corners of papers and typing quick impressions or passing ideas as smartphone notes, writing music, even getting back to writing parts for my unfinished PhD. Writing is self-expression and although I never considered myself a writer despite of all the writing I did, I’m thankful I see the value of it now.
New beginnings. Should I be thankful for the ends as well? Perhaps. I’m also thankful to myself. Because new beginnings take more than luck: they take awareness, embracing change and being comfortable with unknown end results. While these turbulent 365 days that we called 2018 are coming to an end, I see that during those days I have made (or been forced to make) changes in almost all major areas of my life: work, relationships, finances, hobbies, future plans. As we discussed before on this blog, in life you always have at least two choices; to accept the situation or to change something. New beginnings come when you are ready for them. Be open.
Actually I don’t care about New Year’s resolutions much. But reflecting on your decisions once in a while, seeing your choices in the perspective of your whole life and setting goals for the future is crucial. So why not get lost to that annual feed of cultural end-of-the-year nostalgia? Do you make any New Year’s resolutions and/or do you have another method of setting goals for yourself?
The soundtrack of this post is my New Year’s resolution for the past five years and now the upcoming year, as well.
“When the wind does blow against the grain, you must follow your heart.”
I write but, as unimaginative as it may seem, I wish to end this post with someone else’s words. We have cited poetry in this blog before, and in the uplifting, instagrammable, motivating spirit of New Year’s resolutions, I’d like to share Martha Medeiros’ words (I learned that they are not Pablo Neruda’s although the poem is often attributed to him) that perfectly capture some of the emotions of my year of changes and new beginnings.
“You start dying slowly
if you do not travel,
if you do not read,
If you do not listen to the sounds of life,
If you do not appreciate yourself.
You start dying slowly
When you kill your self-esteem;
When you do not let others help you.
You start dying slowly
If you become a slave of your habits,
Walking everyday on the same paths…
If you do not change your routine,
If you do not wear different colours
Or you do not speak to those you don’t know.
You start dying slowly
If you avoid to feel passion
And their turbulent emotions;
Those which make your eyes glisten
And your heart beat fast.
You start dying slowly
If you do not change your life when you are not satisfied with your job, or with your love,
If you do not risk what is safe for the uncertain,
If you do not go after a dream,
If you do not allow yourself,
At least once in your lifetime,
To run away from sensible advice…”
