I Failed to Design My Life (Here’s The Lessons Learned)
Last year in high school was crucial, as most of us were heading to college.
We needed to carefully choose our field because my teachers said, “It’s going to be our future.”
Honestly, unlike 90% of students, I was confident. I knew where I was going.
Whenever people asked me, I answered with chemical engineering. It leads me to become a man who will controlling processes in the factory.
I knew that I was good enough at chemistry, math, and physics. And it’s a cool and high-paying career. So why not?
I prepared well for it. Joined a private class, prayed, and studied a lot until I made it.
I was happy and hopeful as college started. But as the years passed, my spirit faded.
Hardships, uncertainty, and new perspectives changed me. I don’t want to be a chemical engineer anymore.
My past didn’t tell me about this, but my future doesn’t know what I want.
Becoming A New Person
I expected a lot from chemical engineering classes to help with my dream, but they fell short.
The subjects were too broad, and we were overly focused on theory.
At my university, the chemical engineering department is still improving, so we did fewer experiments due to limited lab access.
I wasn’t sure what I was doing. Sure I learned well, but my knowledge lacks depth. It feels like I’m learning something without knowing how to use it.
At the same time, I joined a scientific writing community. Seeing others winning national and international competitions inspired me to give it a try.
I learned a lot about writing there — good structure, flow, and how to convey ideas effectively. And after months of writing, I won my first competition.
It made me so happy, cause it was the first time I achieved something meaningful. I got hooked on writing, and I’ve earned 15+ achievements since then.
But then, my perspective changed.
Now that I’ve graduated, I know more about writing than chemical engineering. It feels like I’m becoming a writer.
I betrayed my own dream.
The Paradox of Continuity
As I reached this stage of life, Shankar Vedantam discussed the same problem.
We know our changes up to this day, but have no idea how we’ll change in the future.
Assuming our future will be like the present is wrong.
It’s like the Ship of Theseus thought experiment — a memorial ship from the War of Theseus, which is still kept to this day.
Over the years, its parts decay, and planks need replacing.
Then comes the moment when every part of the ship is replaced with new parts. But the question is, is it still the Ship of Theseus?
Unlikely.
Like the Ship of Theseus, we’ve changed — physically and mentally. We’re not the same as we were 10 years ago.
As kids, we’ve become adults. Our bodies grow, height increases, and so on. Even our thoughts get wiser.
And our life goals? They’ve pretty much changed too.
Sure, we made wrong decisions in the past, but that’s because we didn’t all the wisdom yet.
How to Design Your Life
I found Shankar’s idea terrifying. What if all my dreams and plans change again? But then, I realized two things:
1. Don’t Waste Your Youth
We’ll change over time, but it doesn’t mean we should do nothing.
Keep trying to find your passion, dreams, goals, or whatever you call it.
In the end, the process of finding will give us knowledge and wisdom, showing us where to stop.
The best time to do that is when we’re young. We have plenty of time and fewer responsibilities.
Do what you love, follow your curiosity. Learn a lot, not just the end result but the process as well.
Then be patient, everyone’s process is different.
2. Control Your Environment
“Watch your thoughts, they become words. Watch your words, they become actions. Watch your actions, they become your habits. Watch your habits, it becomes your character. Watch your character, it becomes your destiny.” — Lao tzu
As you already know what you want in life, now control your environment.
Watch who you hang out with; they’ll influence your values. Find a community that aligns with your dream.
Pay attention to what you learn. Skip news and content that doesn’t relate to your values.
Focus on deepening your knowledge, not just broadening it.
My Final Thought
Either physically or mentally, we will change. We’re not the same as 10 years ago and won’t be the same 10 years later.
We make mistakes, but it’s because we don’t have all the wisdom yet.
Life is life, and so keep learning is the way.
1. Don’t Waste Your Youth
Experiment a lot and find what you want. Youth is the best time with lots of time and fewer responsibilities.
You’ll gain knowledge and wisdom along the journey, showing you where to stop.
2. Control Your Environment
Hang out with people who share your dream. Learn deeply about your field; ignore things that don’t relate.
Every day we become a new person. But whether better or worse, it is our choice.
Thank you so much for reading this far. What are your thoughts?
If you have similar drastic life changes to share, let me know in the comment section.
