Flip it. Choose your path.
Drinking from the well that continues to run dry is no way to live, yet we are lost in a perpetual cycle… but can we strategize to flip the game in our favor? What do we need in our life vs. what do we want in our life? What is fleeing and what is lasting. It’s been said, that wherever your heart is, there is your treasure. What do you hold dear and precious, what do you vigorously work for vs what are you satisfied with?
Last year on NPR I heard about a “god” from India that was served papers to vacate the premises or be fined, daily for blocking an intersection. Granted this “god” was made of stone and could not move ‘itself’ but still, it was served these papers a rock holding them on top of this idol. As ludacris as that sounds, don’t we have a touch of that same delusional disease in America when we spend our money on things that need to be handled, moved, cared for with money we don’t have?
We give our children everything that their hearts desire except for all their hearts need; time. We plan and we prioritize and we spend our time away from them in order to pay for the things that we want never taking the time to realize the things we need. We buy things just because we want them. My dad would share stories of how those living through the great-depression lived… in a time before the credit card. People didn’t, because they didn’t have. They purchased the things they needed, period the end. Now we buy new curtains or change the wall color because we’re bored.
We get rid of our furniture, not because it’s worn but because we’re tired of it and we do it knowing we don’t need it and we do it on the 12months same-as-cash deals, which never quite work out the way it’s sold to us. Then we “buy” something else as if we’re tossing in the towel because now we didn’t pay it off as intended when we got that zero percent interest and have just been hit with twelve months’ worth of interest… and compiled on more than the original purchase because let’s face it, they gave us more credit than we needed — and we spend it; like a kid in a candy store. Some play the game well — most do not.
We open up cards to save 10% and end up spending an additional 30% more because of it. The credit card companies spend millions upon millions each year to send you offers in the mail — they have researched it to know from all that “wasteful” junk mail, enough people will return and spend money that they don’t have to spend. I did it; we all do it to an extent.
I had almost completely given up hope of ever living debt free. It felt as though the decisions I made when I was 18 would plague me forever. Struggling day-to-day to exist, getting caught up seemed so far away it wasn’t even in my vision. I, like so many Americans allowed my eyes to undermine my ability to hold on to my money. Spending as if the money was going to continue to freely flow — and it may have until 9/11. That day marked a shift in the American economy and the days of free-form employment would come to a halt. My darkest day in 2002 seemed to be the only way out of a deep lonely tunnel I found myself in. That decision would forever change the next 15 years of my life.
I read an article today that said the average American household is in debt over $130,000 (the bulk being mortgages). I have dreamt of the day to own my own home, to have a garden and a driveway with a garage for the cold northeast winters. A well-manicured yard where my children can play with some fruit trees and a big porch for entertaining, this seems to complete my picturesque landscape. Is this my reality — will that ever be possible in this economy…? I search weekly for a house to come up for sale in a neighborhood I want to live in and I see tens to hundreds of foreclosures available. The statistics say I can well afford to lock myself into a mortgage for $145,000, and then they got me hook-line-sinker in their pocket for 30-years.
About four years ago I went through a 9-week Dave Ramsey Financial Freedom course (“Live like no one else so you can live like no one else”) and five years prior to that when my best friend graduated college I did a financial plan. I thought I had been doing good considering my income. My dad often would tell me that I’ll never beat them on the big stuff (the car, home, utilities) but my game is with all the other “stuff” that we don’t need. I’ve been playing a game for the last year built on that theory. I know the large billboards and store signs are up there more than just the welcoming sign. They are there to distract you from your plan, they are there to help you identify where you (subconsciously) need to spend your money.
In any given day I drive through fast-food row. On either side of the road, there is every restaurant you can think of vying for my hard earned dollar. They offer a fast, decent meal, at an affordable price for a single adult not wanting to bother with cooking — but is their food? What is it that draws us in and back for more? It’s really, really effective marketing that’s what… so now instead of allowing them to suck me in; I come prepared. I always have an apple or some veggies — occasionally I’ll have some nuts and cheese.
You see, I know I can’t overcome them on my own — I need to be prepared. I’ve been successful — I haven’t eaten fast food in almost a year, with the exception if someone else is buying (which is rare). Six years ago this month I started a new journey of my life and I came into this season of my life with a fresh start — when I say fresh start I mean a credit score below 500 and not much in the way of possessions. I was ok with that as I entered this season wanting to connect with my God on a bigger more powerful way. I didn’t want to be distracted by all the “stuff” that had once filled my desire. My desire was to know Him.
During this time I worked on the essence of my Spiritual self but kind of let the natural stuff wither. I was not balanced by any means. When my mind started to focus I realized I had more work to do to finally step beyond the shadow of my past. I can track this pattern very well thanks to annualcreditreport.com, it was winter of 2015 my FICO Score was 560; I had been getting around to writing those dispute letters for half a decade — which never happened. Anything I tried for, CC or loan was unforgiving. I started to research the way Credit in America works — I read a lot of information that was at my disposal. And I started my process.
How I turned my Credit right-side up in less than 2 years:
I bit the bullet and paid for the Credit One card. $98 a year to own a Credit Card (are you kidding me) and they were still charging interest… I used it wisely — for grocery and gas, two purchases I would make anyhow. My limit started off small only $250, I travelled out of the country so after a few months of good payments I asked for an increase which was granted to me at $500. I continued to make charges and payments, but I always carried over a balance of $5–10 dollars. In less than 1-year I was getting offers in the mail for other cards — Capital One hit hard. It was hard to turn them down but I didn’t want to have the wrong cards on my portfolio.
I realized that Credit One charged a really high fee to use the card internationally, so in my 2–5 daily offers, I started to open up and read all those disclosures. I must have read 100–150 credit card disclosures — yes that’s the book of fine print they send you. I called so many customer service numbers to ask the questions I couldn’t find (which taught me a valuable lesson about customer service). Finally — I made the decision to go with BOA. When that card came, it was for $1000 limit; I didn’t care to check my score. I called Credit One and they also doubled my limit again (Credit One does this sneaky trick, for 3–5 months they send you an entertaining offer for $40 you can double your limit and then after 6-months they give the extra limit to you for free).
My portfolio was growing but I wasn’t over spending. In fact for the years I lived meagerly — it humbled me and conditioned me to under-spend thereby building a nice nest for myself. My score had climbed up to the lower 700’s but didn’t seem like it was going to get much higher. Diversify. I had realized I wasn’t being reported to all 3… so when asked if I wanted an AmEx card, even with their costly membership fee I jumped on it, I needed the card to present my ranking across the board. Armed with my new $5000 limit — my score shot up to 796 this November. It was under two years that I achieved a jump of 223 points.
Being at this position of my life, more resolute in caring for my finances I keep thinking about what that Ramsey course taught, live like no one else, so you can live like no one else. Today after I read that article, I wonder if home-ownership in the states is even for me. I wonder if I will be willing to part with so much of my earnings or if I will continue to hold on to what I have for that brighter tomorrow. I don’t know if my story will help anyone else in any way. I know that the financial industry is a game — everyone wants the most value for the dollar. But, maybe the dollar isn’t the most valuable thing.
What I know is that we can never expect to get ahead by spending more than we have and we shouldn’t go looking to fill our voids with stuff. People are what life is worth living for. It’s the time and effort we put into people that fill their life with love and joy. I spent a lot of my primal years learning that things don’t make me happy — because things will only satisfy for a while. Reading that article today made me think about all the things that people buy in order to feel better; whether for a moment or for a lifetime. It encouraged me to write this post in order to let people know it IS possible, to set a goal and achieve that goal — even when the odds are stacked against you. Remember, they will always get you on the big stuff, but it’s with the right diligence and determination — that the small stuff can be gotten.
