What we go through for our charges.
Sinking into the sofa at eight and a half weeks pregnant with her third child, she recalled each of her previous pregnancies. In the past years we both have made some significant stances for our lives and the lives of our family, educating ourselves on the things that we eat… on the products that we use… the medicine that heals us and the people we surround our lives with.
As women, we have the opportunity to care for the life of others; intrinsically it’s in our nature. It’s a part of who we are.
For her first child she was determined to have a natural birth. America has come a long way back. Back from where? Homeopathic Medicine, spinning quickly back into the fabric of our lives… overseas it’s never left. While many countries have the ability and functionality of modern medicine, it’s not as accessible in some countries as it is here.
The season of childbearing is a significant one that shouldn’t be overlooked. The season that predates the birth, it’s the process by which our bodies change and develop, we feed ourselves different as to care and to mold and shape that which is growing inside of us. Every day we wake up focused on what we are hoping for. Somedays we can’t get up, others we get up with a heavy burden on us, still others we have relentless energy and excitement. It’s a process.
She recalled the birthing pains of a natural birth. No meds to help the process. For her first child, the umbilical cord wrapped around the baby’s neck on the way out causing the child to get stuck, the doctor needed to insert two fingers into her in order to free the child. As she sat there with contractions again, I felt a tear in the back of my throat as she recalled the feeling of the pain, six years later, of his hand inside of her. Had she elected the meds, she wouldn’t have that memory. Reflecting on that memory, I wonder how I would feel about that… and if that pain is something that we need in order to get through the relationship we have with our children all the days of their lives.
Her second, she elected to have the meds, but has regretted it. Torn between her own comfort and her beliefs her finance was determined to help her accomplished her goal of natural child birth, because that is what we do for the people we love. Above all it’s our belief system that defines who we are, and in moments of weakness we need those people around us to support us in order that we are successful in the life we want to live.
This pregnancy she was conflicted. We strive to make the best decisions based on the information we had available to us — weighing our thoughts and emotions up against what we have chosen to rule of lives by… the education, the theories, the consequences. Sometimes it comes down to comfort.
It was Thursday, ten o’clock at night. She wanted to go to the hospital; she knew before the morning that her child would breathe air. Her fiancé went to work. I was confused at that point. How could he just leave her in this state? I admire her, she knows her body and she knew her baby would be in the world in less than two hours. She was trying to hold on until midnight so her children could have their own birthdays. The birthing pains, contractions and discomfort were almost over, she had a false alarm the weekend before — her doctor’s appointment was scheduled for the next day. Everything was stacked for the benefit of her having the baby the next day… but we don’t get to make those decisions.
Just after an hour I was home and she was in the hospital delivering her third son 11:24pm. Reflecting on this blessed evening that I was able to share with my best friend, I realized that God provided her the opportunity for a natural childbirth. He brought her through the entire pregnancy, so that she didn’t have to make the choice for comfort. It was so natural in fact, that the baby came down and out before the doctor was even in the room.
Mother-hood is a beautiful opportunity in life. It’s a connection that cannot be broken. We have our own minds which often causes strain on our relationships with one another — but the connection exits whether we acknowledge it or not.
When I think of May and the season change here in the northeast, I think of birth and the possibilities associated with a new life. The trees are in full bloom, the air is crisp with the rays of sunshine. It’s a rebirth time, anything is possible. We’ve just said good bye to the last of the rainy season, which falls right after the snow… we are like children seeing summer for the first time. The struggles we’ve endured during the cold season dissipate in this new season, the season of life. We honor our Mothers in May; we thank them for enduring the pains of pregnancy and the ongoing pains we bring them in life.
It’s a beautiful thing to be the care-giver of another. And although God hasn’t seen fit to bless me with a child yet, I look at the opportunities I am given every day to care for my family and the things that are placed into my care. Each day thanking my God for the opportunities of life He has given to my charge.
Just because we may not be a mother to a human, doesn’t mean we aren’t given a greater responsibility to care and to nurture. So to all the women out there, I wish for you happy thoughts and strength as you endure what you have been charged with in this season. I encourage you to continue to develop and to enlarge your capacity for growth and expansion. And I stand with you, as I stand next to my best friend, as she at 27 continues to expand her family, her reach and her love.
