3 Life Lessons For My 22-Year-Old Self
Sorry Swifty, I don’t know about you, but I didn’t like 22. I’m about to turn 27 and fully aware that I’ve flown through the halfway mark of my twenties. My train is soon to be approaching thirties-ville, so now feels like a good time to reflect and reminisce, as we all know hindsight is a wonderful thing.
I don’t think I’m the only one to admit that I found my early twenties hard work. I spent more time resenting, comparing and wishing them away than embracing them. I’ve done a lot of soul searching and growing up these past couple of years to try and work on this and be happier in the here and now.
Don’t get me wrong, I still have a lot more growing up to do and I’m far from believing I’m a wise owl of wisdom who has it all figured out, but I do feel a little more at ease with the state and pace of my life.
So, if I could go back and do it again, what do I wish I had known then?
It’s normal to feel lost when you leave university
This one was by far the hardest for me to fathom. My entire life I had grown up knowing what was next. GCSEs led to A Levels which led to the first year of university, followed by the second year, year abroad, and finals. It hadn’t really dawned on me that when I put down that pen in my last exam, finally I had no one dictating my next step in life, apart from me.
Unfortunately, I don’t think our education system really prepares us for the real world of employment, despite the goody bags from the career fair! It’s therefore down to us to figure out our strengths, weaknesses and, most importantly, what we enjoy. It’s important to be proactive when you graduate, but also patient. The only way you will learn what you like and dislike is by doing it. So, try, test, and move on if it isn’t for you. Stop putting pressure on yourself to land your dream career after round one.
Also, I try to avoid being lured in by job descriptions, salaries and job titles — I personally thought I would love working in Brand Marketing as it sounded glamorous & creative. Turns out it wasn’t for me. Speak to the people in these roles and understand what they do, it will save you a lot of time on wasted job applications.
Finally, you don’t need a graduate scheme to be successful. As a Business Management student, my university seemed to drill into us that our only way of achieving successful careers was via a graduate scheme with firms like “The Big 5”. Whilst these are brilliant companies to work for, they are incredibly competitive with rigorous application processes and not for the faint-hearted. Truly think about what you’re passionate about! I wasted so many hours applying to these schemes because I thought it was what I should be doing.
I finally realised the banking and corporate world wasn’t for me when I attempted to complete one of their numerical reasoning tests and was told by their algorithms they thought I had learning difficulties….
Adventure first, career after
The average person in their twenties will have between 15–20 different careers in their lifetime and will most likely be working until they are 70. That is a long time to be sitting behind a desk, signing colleagues’ birthday cards and enduring Sandra on Zoom sharing photos of her son’s nativity play.
You are 22, with no responsibilities, no mortgage to pay, no children, no annual leave cap, no ties. So, for heaven’s sake, go out and see the world. Obviously with the current pandemic, our ability to travel has been postponed, but life will slowly return to normal, so use this time wisely to plan your next adventure.
Sadly, England, like the USA, has ingrained a society of ‘live to work’ and not ‘work to live’. Our European neighbours highly encourage internships abroad, sabbaticals and offer time to travel before their career starts. We, on the other hand, seem to burn out our younger generation before they’ve even started, with companies taking advantage of the cheap labour that comes from menial internships and placements. So, before you rush into the title of chief coffee maker, go and smell the coffee from Colombia or Brazil.
Take the time to be young whilst you have the energy to do it. I’ve been lucky enough to live abroad as well as travel the world and I can hand on heart say it was the best time of my life. COVID has taught us more than ever that life is short and precious and our freedom should never be taken from granted. It can be a scary thought leaving your comfort zone, but it will be scarier when you suddenly wake up at 50 and realise you haven’t lived.
Stop living a champagne lifestyle on a lemonade budget
Unless you live in Clapham, which is essentially an extension of a university campus, you will realise that once leaving university, your three to four night a week partying schedule might be somewhat restricted. Why? Because no employer likes to see you walk into the office with last night’s clothes on, smelling of sex and vodka Red Bulls. What’s more, London prices funnily enough don’t cater for graduate salaries and the concept of ‘three trebles for a fiver’ no longer exists.
After university, I moved to London and had my first real job. The combination of earning a proper salary plus my student partying mentality resulted in me truly believing I could afford and endure 12 espresso martinis on a Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday night after work. My world suddenly transitioned from WKD’s to wine bars, microwave meals to balls of burrata, and don’t get me started on the oat milk. I brunched for the sake of brunching, took Ubers out of laziness, went on dates with men to TimeOut’s best-rated bars, all of which I knew I couldn’t afford.
The result? I was exhausted 90% of the week and I had anxiety every month when I checked my bank balance. If I had a night in, I would fear I was missing out. London can do that to you, it’s vibrant culture and cosmopolitan influence means there is a never-ending stream of things to do. But the reality was that most of my salary went on my rent and I couldn’t afford to be eating eggs benedict and attending ClassPass pilates.
Learning to live within my means and accept what I have is something I’ve had to constantly work on, especially in a world of social media, where it’s easy to compare and feel we want more. COVID, despite it’s tragedies, has taught many of us that a slower pace of life can be much more sustainable and satisfying, so maybe just stick to the one espresso martini.
Cover Photo by Alexa Williams on Unsplash
Originally published at http://lookingbothways.co.uk on February 7, 2021.
