In The Midst Of The Stars
A Poem
I look up at the stars,
Wondering where my mom is shining
In the midst of all the twinkling.
Is she in the Big Dipper,
Winking at me at the end of the handle?
What if she’s stuck there?
Waiting for someone,
For me,
To release her from some foreign purgatory
In the middle of the sky, at the end of a star?
What could I do?
I am no one,
Wasting into a slave-like mentality
That everyone expects from me.
I carry on, hoping to make it to my end
To see her smiling at me like she did at her end.
Is it blasphemy?
Seeking death to see my mother again,
and to finally end all the long fingernails that scratch
the inside of my mind?
I wonder if heaven will be paradise if
She’s not there
Would I dare
even try to exist in an
afterlife where someone who shined so brightly on me
would fade into the darkness, to exist no more?
Where would that…