Bugs & Birds

(18/46)

Posted by: lordofthehamilton on 12 May 2016

(STAIRS OF CIRITH UNGOL: Angry after feeling betrayed by Frodo & Sam, Gollum leads the pair on a ‘shortcut’ towards Mordor…)

GOLLUM
How does a Baggins, trickster and fat hobbit off to the tower
And how his feets are noble, with precious power
How do we diverge so glorious precious is acquired?
Fat one’ll tattle, steal craving Smeagol’ll scrag the liar
Yes! Turns out we haves a secret weapon!
An imminent threat we know and love an accolade to stick them
She’s constantly bruising, bounding what dinners provide her
We’ll give them up for the Shadow’s scary fucking Spider!

ORCS
Shelob’s Lair!

SHELOB
I’m eating these orcs all the same, making
Dead folks deader with bloodstains

ORCS
Shelob’s Lair!

SHELOB
And I’m never gonna stop until I eat ‘em
Stick and wrap ’em up, have fun with their remains here at

ORCS
Shelob’s Lair!

SHELOB
Watch me engorgin’ em! Goring them!
Flooring them! At-

ORCS
Shelob’s Lair!

SHELOB
Paralyze them first, it’s more fun

ORC
Shelob’s Lair!

SHELOB
I don’t just eat orcs

ORCS
Bugs
And birds

SHELOB
But orcs I still prefer

GOLLUM
We must make do and stay in toe, accelerate this grift

SHELOB
I can eat them all by Orc’s tower, bite limbs off indeed, but
For this yummy treat, there is something else I need

GOLLUM
We knows

GOLLUM AND ORCS
Paralyze!

SHELOB
Stir my venom in them, what a stench
Into all them and flood till they can’t wrench. I mean-

GOLLUM AND ORCS
Paralyze!

SHELOB
Sure, we’re gonna have to eat them eventually
What’re they gonna do when they’re drenched? I mean

GOLLUM AND ORCS
Paralyze!

GOLLUM
They can’t match our brilliance
We’ll snatches my precious, yes with no resilience

GOLLUM AND ORCS
Paralyze!

SHELOB
Don’t wanna bite more orcs
What a bland snack
I want a yummier snack

ORCS
Shelob’s Lair!
Shelob’s Lair!

GOLLUM
Get our prize precious back!
Get our prize precious back!

SHELOB
I want a yummier snack
I want a yummier snack
I mean you gotta put some thought to appetizers but if they’re smaller, you’re wiser
To get a tastier snack

ORCS
Shelob-
Shelob-
Shelob’s Lair,
Shelob
Shelob

GOLLUM
Precious!
Pre-
Pre-
Precious, Precious!
Pre-, Pre-

GOLLUM
Shelob will paralyze them
Doom’s waiting in her lair for them
If they walk further on, together we can steal it backkk
Oh, Sheob will crunchitize them
We have surprise that will be their end
If we manage to gets this right
The’ll be dismembered to our delight
Our precious will be back again thanks to Shelob’s Lair!