Hornburg (Til Helm’s Deep Burns Inside Out)

(20/46)

Posted by: lordofthehamilton on 12 May 2016

(HELM’S DEEP: where the Uruk-hai march to confront Rohan’s army)

SOLDIERS
The battle of the Hornburg. Orcs are expected to have won

ARAGORN
Good King Theoden

THEODEN
Aragorn, Elessar

ARAGORN
In command where you belong

THEODEN
So you say there’s a great threat?
We’re finally in Helm’s Deep. It was quite the run

ARAGORN
Like Hobbits:

ARAGORN / THEODEN
We get the job done

THEODEN
So what happens if we win?

ARAGORN
We have a chance
We’ll stop the treason of Isengard in advance

THEODEN
I’ll ride with you when we do

ARAGORN
Let’s save Rohan!

THEODEN
Honor for us to ride

ARAGORN
For this fleet save men, let’s go!

SOLDIERS
I am not throwing away my sword!
I am not throwing away my sword!
Hey yo we’re gonna save our country, we’re young
Some old and hungry
And we’re not throwing away our sword
We are not throwing away our sword!

THEODEN
’Til Helm’s Deep burns inside out!

SOLDIERS
’Til Helm’s Deep burns inside out!

THEODEN
I’ve been savaged by death so much it’s more of a raw memory
This is where it gets me: so it begins
The enemy fights death and glory
If this the end of me, at least Eowyn will lead on for me
A fighting hand, she commands and my men with me

Then I remember Eomer’s connecting, see
Not only that but Eomer’s collecting
A Rohirrim flow, gotta get the job done
Gonna save our old nation, gonna avenge my son!
Gonna march for Rohan

SOLDIERS
What?

THEODE
Gonna march for Rohan!
Where is the horse and rider? Where is the horn
That was blowing, they have passed like rain on the mountain
Like in a meadow’s wind, the days have gone in the west down in
Behind hills into shadow, how did it come to this?
Do they trust their king, they really do, to whatever end yes
The call to arms is Forth Eorlingas, dig me?

SOLDIERS
Forth Eorlingas!

THEODEN
We’ve been cramped in borders, now kick some ass!
And so the war ‘gainst men finally begins
With some allies scattered to the winds
Gandalf rides onward, getting Eomer’s crew hastily

LEGOLAS / GIMLI
He always reappears with an entrance quite tastefully

THEODEN
When we had kids and wives hide in caves
Eowyn is there waiting-

EOWYN
Feeling like a slave!

THEODEN
How do we know this war can be won?
We have some good guys on the outside. That’s right

THEODEN
Dwarf Gimli FUCKS SHIT UP

GIMLI
Small in stature mowing Uruks down, choppin heads
What I lack in measurement, I make up for in charisma and wit

SOLDIERS
Up!

GIMLI
Can’t see me? What illusionary puzzlement
I’m countin’ all my kills ‘gainst Legolas and I am lovin’ it!
See, that’s what happens when you think short people aren’t huffing it!
We’re the shit, yo, some Uruk’s gonna be snuffing it
When you knock me down I get to fuck you up again!

SOLDIERS
Left! Right! Hold
Go!
What! What! What!

THEODEN
After hours of fighting, an elf dies in slow-mo to show you that it’s serious

ARAGORN
We lower our swords as he eventually dies to sad choirs

LEGOLAS
And soon after that, it’s over. We tend to our wounded, we count our kills

GIMLI
Black and red bloodshed spatter ‘cross the fortress, I killed more, no frills

ARAGORN
Who cares?

THEODEN
We hesitate the terms of this defender
I see Lord Aragorn smile
Eowyn escorts her crew through mountains
They stagger to Rohan single file
Some big number of people line the caves
There are screams and nice horns blowing
As our fighting men retreat
We see the Rohirrim ride on fighting…

ROHIRRIM
Till Helm’s Deep burns inside out!

FULL COMPANY
Till Helm’s Deep burns inside out
Till Helm’s Deep burns inside out
Till Helm’s Deep burns inside out
Out
Out, out, out

ARAGORN
Freedom for Rohan, Forth Eorlingas!

SOLDIERS
Down, down, down

THEODEN
Gotta save our nation
Gonna see Eowyn!

COMPANY
Down, down, down!

GIMLI
We won!

LEGOLAS
We won!

ARAGORN / LEGOLAS / GIMLI
We won!

SOLDIERS
Til’ Helm’s Deep burns inside out!