I’ll Reminisce

(24/46)

Posted by: lordofthehamilton on 11 May 2016

(ORTHANC: As the Ents flood Isengard thanks to Merry and Pippin, Saruman’s crony, Grima Wormtongue, feels the anguish of playing the part of a stooge to a figure who, in some respects, is a stooge himself)

MERRY
Elevenses, El- el- elevenses
El- el- elevenses

PIPPIN
Last of the Longbottom leaf

MERRY
Hope Frodo Baggins, ordered
Imminently designated bearer’ll
Be all right on this long conquest beset
Might his Samwise Gamgee gardener be at his side for all this?

PIPPIN
They’re on the ball, they will stand tall
You ready to for another hit?

(Pippin passes Merry a pipe)

PIPPIN
Treasure, how necessary. Isengard’s quite desolate
Ever’y super fucking angry ent shows how resolate
We’ve done good. All our friends have said we’ve done good work
We deserve to eat and smoke, you want more salted pork?

MERRY
Who is up there still, besides just Saruman?
Cause he’s been smackin’ someone, calling him a moron
Guess he’s gotta talk to someone, isolation’s no fun
Better check in with Grima Wormtongue

ENTS
It’s Grima Wormtongue on his own!
It’s Grima Wormtongue on his own!
It’s Grima Wormtongue on his own!
It’s Grima Wormtongue on his own!
It’s Grima Wormtongue on his own, in Orthanc
At Saruman’s side for so long
Aaa-oo!
Aaa-oo!

WORMTONGUE
Ents are destroying us in retribution
We have no place to go
Rohan’s crew shows up
And debates begin

ENTS
Aaa-ooo

WORMTONGUE
I helped Saruman craft with commendation
Then I said “I hate you so
I hate you when you strike me so”
Now the scheming here begins

ENTS
Aaa-ooo!

WORMTONGUE
So I’ll reminisce
I’ll reminisce

Saruman, my white wizard, let your snake crony just hiss
You’ve been rallying chaos with your callings
You flip through your creepy book with those drawings
I spied for Rohan, creeped on Eowyn and came back to this

ENTS
Aaa-ooh!

WORMTONGUE
There’s a better life I have but I’m your resident
Haven’t even asked ‘bout my dreams yet
Sorry Sary, you are a resentful piece o shit
There’s a bit o’ beef I have with pale dark creeps I must admit
And that I am just to be a lackey with no ambitions, what?
And I’m for your benefit you behoove
I just want more and now we’re flooded up in Orthanc

ENTS
Flooded in Orthanc!
Flooded in Orthanc!

WORMTONGUE
Lookin’ at the rolling fields
I can’t believe we cut down trees
Wiping out races
And now I’m stuck waiting
It’s no good to me

ENTS
Believe you cut down trees
No good, hee hee!

WORMTONGUE
But who’s visiting here when I step out to face?
My ol’ King Theoden, younger in face

WORMTONGUE
He promises no harm and
I abscond
What’s going on?

ENTS
Aaa-ooh!

THEODEN
Grima, we are engaged in a battle for mankind’s very soul
I can get you out of this mess you’re in

ENTS
Aaa-ooo!

THEODEN
Saruman’s running out of plot, it’s time to go
Now come with our council
He’ll be begging in the streets soon
What will you do?

WORMTONGUE
Uh, scheme

ENTS
Aaa-ooh

THEODEN
You must give in

WORMTONGUE
I’ll reminisce
I’ll reminisce
I thought Gandalf plunged down into an abyss!
I have more resentment with each further day
I guess I better think of something to say
I’m uncertain of the way
I feel kinda rotten of this

ENTS
He’ll- he’ll- he’ll reminisce
Can he come back from this?
Somehow, back from abyss!
Chicka-pow!
Of the way!
He’ll reminisce!
Aaah-ah!

THEODEN
Come, Grima Wormtongue, you can go home

WORMTONGUE
What, King Theoden? Gandalf also Aragorn?

ENTS
Come, Grima Wormtongue, you can go home
Worm, you’ve been up in Orthanc for so long

WORMTONGUE
So I’ll reminisce!