How lucky am I?
The seasons are changing here in Toronto. The leaves are turning golden and dropping from the trees. The temperature has dropped from 30 to 13 in the space of two weeks and I’ve very much brought the warm, snuggly jumpers out of storage. Welcome to Fall.
With the change in the weather, came the inevitable cold, which struck me down last weekend so hard I refused to get out of bed for an entire day. It seems when sickness hits, so too does home-sickness. As my entire family gathered for a birthday celebration, I had never felt further away from home. It was tough.
Now I sit here, blue skies out the window, blanket wrapped around me, hot chocolate beside me, taking a moment to breathe. It’s been a busy few weeks. Sometimes a little bit of peace is all you need. A thought pops into my mind at times like this, when I’ve felt overwhelmed, or sad or stressed and finally those emotions fade. “How lucky am I?”
I think back to my youth. There’s one day I remember in school so very clearly. I must have been 15, maybe 16. A TV producer, I forget her name, came in to give us a talk about working in television. At the time, I hadn’t even thought about the possibility of a life working in production. She told us how difficult a career choice it was, how you should never have issues with people, because it was such a small industry. She told us “never become a Producer.” I remember walking out of that talking thinking it definitely wasn’t the life for me.
How, I wonder, would I have reacted if in that moment the me of the future had approached my teenaged self and told her where she would end up 13 years later. If I’d been told then and there: “before you’re 30 you will carve out a career in television, a career you are passionate and proud of. On top of that you’ll be living in a different country.”
How lucky am I to have be living a life where I’m doing things I could never have dreamed of. And where will I be in another 13 years? Will I have published my book? Will I be back in England, or somewhere else all together? It’s impossible to know. I can only hope that when I’m 13 years further on in life, I still have moments like these. I still sit curled in a blanket, wondering what 28 year old me would have thought if she’d been told “this is where you’ll be.”
To the future, whatever it may be!
