I am Constantly Amazed At How Many People Around The World Think I Have Value
Writing my stories have helped me allocate time and energy to sharing the experiences that made me who I am.
It shouldn’t have taken until I turned thirty-seven for me to realize that there are people on this earth who think that I have worth and value, but it did. It took this long because most of my life was surrounded by people who told me the exact opposite.
Too many times in this world, children are abused and broken down by the abuse of adults. Too many times in this world, women, and girls specifically, are told their voices, their dreams, and their vision for their future doesn’t matter.
If I had a mission for my life, it would be to make sure that every little girl knows that her voice and her stories matter to me. It would be to create a space where women of color can come together to express how they feel about the world that they were raised in.
I know first hand what it feels like to be told that people would rather that I was dead, instead of being who I am today. I know first hand what it is like to wish harm against my abusers, and I know first hand what it feels like to know that Justice has ignored your pleas for help.
What I am trying to build here is all about inspiring others to share their voices, but none of that would be possible if it weren’t for the readers. I am not always so good at keeping up with all the places that host my writing, but in 2021 I am going to make a more concentrated effort to share my voice with the world, even more than I have in 2020.
In 2021 I want to be intentional about using my voice, I want to showcase stories that matter, I want to be the kind of place where mothers of Brown children can find a place that helps them dissect all the things their Brown children are going through.
When I first started LMBG, I saw an Indian woman on the train platform opposite mine, I knew she had seen my website because she looked right at me, then at her daughter, and then back to me before nodding her head. She understood that what I was trying to do was ensure that no Brown girl ever felt alone again, and at that moment I knew that I had stumbled upon exactly what I was meant to do with my life.
I will never forget that, because it isn’t about fame, it’s not about the recognition, it’s about doing the right thing. I don’t care if I ever become “famous” what I care about is ensuring that the world is placed on notice.
What I care about is ensuring that when little girls hear my name or see my face, they seem themselves.
When Michelle Obama was asked if she wanted to be the First Lady when she grew up, she responded with “I didn’t know I could be,” there were a lot of things that I didn’t know I could be, but a lot of things that I wanted to be to grow up.
I didn’t know that I could be a writer, but I knew I wanted to be a writer, even though I didn’t know what that would mean. I just knew that one day I was going to be a writer, and I hoped that along with finding my way to being a writer, I would have an interesting life.
I have had an interesting life, and I have done my best to articulate what I’ve been through and what I have seen through my writing. The fact that people like what I have to say is the kind of bonus that I couldn’t have imagined asking for.
You reading this matter to me, you matter purely because you are taking the time to read what I have to say, that’s how this exchange works, and I am forever appreciative for you.
Without you, my dreams wouldn’t have come true, and no matter what anyone says about me, I AM a writer. A published author and no one can ever take that away from me. There are people in my world who have bought copies of my books, and those books will remain on their shelves for a long time, or until they pass them on. Either way, the cycle will continue, a writer was born purely because people decided to read what I have to say.
So thank you.
Thank you for taking the time to follow me here, read my blog, buy my book, check out my podcast, and buy my clothing. You mean the absolute world to me. I fucking love and adore you, and I think you are amazing.
I think that the time you spend reading and surveying the context of what I put into the world has power, and I appreciate you. So thank you. I love you.
Until next year,
I am sending all my love,
Devon J Hall