It’s Not Cancel Culture It’s “Pay the Consequences For Your Actions” Culture
We Really Need To Stop Thinking We Can Do Whatever We Want And Get Away With It
I’ve been thinking a lot about this lately, especially in the face of Johnny Depp suing his now ex-wife Amber Heard. I’m not overly invested in either of them as human beings, but I will say that I am slightly disappointed to find out that Johnny Depp, who was one of my favorite actors growing up isn’t perfect.
With fame and fortune, comes hundreds of thousands of people talking about you, either because they are curious, interested, or more importantly, because they are making dollars on talking about you.
From journalists to other celebrities and fans, everyone has something to say about someone else’s behavior, and given that I have the experience with trauma that I do, I have some thoughts.
“Going to Africa. Hope I don’t get AIDS. Just kidding. I’m white!” — Justine Sacco
I was one of the hundreds of thousands of angry people who tweeted about this when it happened, especially because I saw the tweets only moments after it was posted. You bet your ass I was at the front of the line waving my firelit torch ready to seek and destroy this woman’s online reputation.
It wasn’t the first time that I had been involved in tearing someone down online for something awful, disgusting, racist, and filled with hatred, and I doubt, because I am human, that it will be the last, but I looked up Justine Sacco to see what she’s doing now.
Sacco, who was most recently running communications for the daily fantasy sports startup FanDuel, will oversee corporate comms for Match, which includes the business’s online dating properties like Tinder, Match.com and OkCupid. — Vox.Com
I’m glad that Sacco landed on her feet — I would never want anyone — regardless of their behavior — to end up homeless or hungry, but I have to tell you, I’m still too pissed off.
- Sex and The City’s Chris Noth was dropped from Peloton recently following sexual assault claims, while Twitter troll Chrissy Teigen was accused of cyberbullying by TV personality Courtney Stodden
- Marilyn Manson, Matt Damon, and DaBaby also fell from grace, while Justin Timberlake faced backlash from the #freebritney movement following the documentary Framing Britney Spears
This article details a bunch of people who got “canceled” and you guessed it, all but one of them are white.
The white privilege that allows people to say and do whatever they want is held by the same people that are banning roommates in Kansas, support and care for Trans kids in Texas and Florida, and LGBTQ2S+ marriage across the world.
Right now as I write this, there is a man with a gun at Saint Michael’s Catholic School, in Toronto. Hundreds of thousands of bodies of Indigenous children who were stolen from their families are having their bodies, finally unearthed across Canada and America.
Women around the globe are living in war-torn conditions where they are forced to have “survival sex” with men they didn’t want to marry because their freedoms were stolen from them.
If you can’t sit down, shut the fuck up, and recognize your privilege before you say or do something stupid, I literally have nothing to offer you.
Every Single Day Our Society Shifts Between Light, Dark, Good and Evil
It’s hard to live in this world and not notice that there are majickal, unexplainable things about it. I cannot, for the life of me understand, why no matter how much research I do, I can’t seem to find common ground with people who hate others. I don’t hate you, I may dislike your behavior or your choices, but I don’t have the energy to hate you.
There are people who believe in love, joy, wonder, majick, and beauty, and then there are those on the other side, who hate everything about us because we exist. We are Black, gay, bi, transgender, androgynous. We come in different shades, some of us come in wheelchairs, and others don’t have arms or legs.
Some of us have children, others don’t, some of us live at home with our parents, some of us are the most famous people in the world, but the one thing that we all have in common is that we want equality to be the order of the day.
We aren’t trying to force people to be exactly like us, we’re making safe spaces for people who need a little extra room in this world, and we’re doing our best to make sure that the experiences of those around us are often better than what we were given.
And Then There Is The “Other” Side
It’s not a coincidence that so many people who hate those of us that are different, are people who also happen to be white, cis, and Christian. It’s their conditioning and it’s something I understand very well.
When you grow up with organized religion that focuses on a white Jesus and a place called Hell, whose doors are open for any perceived slight, it’s hard not to grow up being terrified of being different.
It makes perfect sense to me that white cis people hate Jews, Black people, and everyone who is visibly or not so visibly different from them, it’s GENUINELY not their fault that we scare the living fuck out of them.
They were raised to be terrified of us, and while many millions of white cis people are breaking that conditioning every single day, we still have to understand that at a certain point these people were children.
Do you have any idea what kind of trauma is caused to a child who grows up being told they will go to Hell? Some of them face beatings, some of them are sexually abused, and it can take thirty or forty years for a single human being to recognize, dissect, and acknowledge the abuse they suffered growing up.
Most people who were traumatized and conditioned by religion don’t speak out for the first 40 years of their life. This is a fact-based on years of communicating with other victims of Religious Trauma.
Does that excuse their behavior? Absolutely not, but “we” if we are to say that we are “better than them,” have to be a little bit understanding.
For Many People Jesus Is Not A Gift of Love, He Is a Weapon, Sent Here To Destroy Them
I did not grow up thinking “Jesus is my brother, because he’s God’s son and he’s here to teach me to be better.” I grew up thinking “Jesus is here to judge me, and if I don’t pass, I’m going to Hell.”
That’s because that’s what organized religions around the globe teach humans, that if we do not behave in a certain way we will be punished. And then they go out of their way to prove that fact by sexually, physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually abusing us, while telling us that it is “God’s Will,” eventually you start to believe it because it’s just fucking easier to give in.
Organized religion is a weapon, and it’s destroying humanity one person at a time. This isn’t to say that I don’t believe in God, but it is to say that because of the conditioning that I faced as a child by my white community members, it took me a really long time to understand that “consequences for your actions” were not the same thing as being raped.
It took me a really long time to understand that I can’t just do whatever I want and get away with it like my white counterparts, and that’s the part that pisses me off.
When a Black or BIPOC person does something it can — and often does — end in their death, forget to cancel culture. Black and BIPOC people are killed by the millions around the world, and no one blinks an eye.
But Heaven forbid you to decide you don’t want to see a Matt Damon film because he continuously does and say stupid shit like “we should be thankful to the men who don’t abuse women,” or bragging about making homophobic slurs until his teen daughter “educated” him.
When We Were Children We Got Sent To The Corner
When we misbehaved as children we got sent to the corner, or to our rooms. Perhaps we went to bed without dinner or got a spanking. (A spanking, not a beating.) But as adults, the consequences have to be more severe, because we are grown-ass adults, and the responsibilities that we carry in this world are more important.
We have adult men and women in charge of nuclear codes for crying out loud. I’d very much like to make sure that the people who have that kind of power aren’t going to blow up the world because they are racist/homophobic/sexist or otherwise deranged.
The problem with white people is that they condition themselves to believe that “when they grow up,” they will be able to do whatever they want and get away with it because they were raised by white cis Christian or otherwise religious people who grew up and did horrible, evil and heinous things.
The problem is that for too long we encouraged white people doing whatever they wanted — and I mean for centuries — because it was genuinely just easier. Well now the disease of “I’m white and therefore all I do is right because I say so,” has become a plague on this planet, and they’re crying foul when we tell them that we’re not putting up with their shit anymore.
It’s exhausting living in a world that consistently and constantly tells people that you have to be famous to matter because it means that really horrible people are getting famous for doing really terrible shit, and we’re letting them get away with it.
And for the record, it’s not just white people.
Jimmy Usso is a supremely famous WWE Superstar, and he happens to be one of my favorites. He was recently arrested (again) for drunk driving, now normally I wouldn’t care about what celebrities do. But here’s the thing, my brother’s best friend in high school was killed by an impaired driver and the driver got away with it. After trial, no jail time, no consequences.
When I see men like Jimmy Usso, who have everything going for them, men who went to college, have a great family life, and people that love him, drinking and driving, all empathy and sympathy go out the window, because I will never forget my baby brother coming home and telling us one of his best friends was dead.
Despite significant progress in recent decades, it remains one of the leading criminal causes of death in Canada. According to police-reported data, impaired driving killed as many as 155 people in Canada in 2019 (88 impaired drivers Note and 67 other road users) and injured 540.Jul 15, 2021 — StatCan
When you are someone who is famous, yes absolutely, everything you do will be judged, dissected, assessed, and discussed. Everyone who is anyone, and many people who are just ordinary civilian-type citizens, are going to have something to say about your bad behavior.
There are only two ways out of being canceled:
- Make sure no one finds out about the shit you do
- Don’t be an asshole
Eventually, You Have To Recognize That You Might Be The Problem
I cut every single person I knew out of my life on the day that I started Loud Mouth Brown Girl dot Com. I came out publicly and told the world what happened to me at Church, at school, and at home. I told the world who did what — to the best of my knowledge — and I reported it to the police no less than three times.
Every single time I told people that I was abused by cops, priests, teachers, students, and men I was seeing, they told me that I was crazy and it took me five years to break the gaslighting based conditioning that made me think I really was crazy when in reality, I was living in PTSD and shock due to rape and trauma.
There are a lot of people — mostly Black women — who struggled to communicate with me for a while, because of my white-focused brain patterns. But I made a conscious choice to break that conditioning and recognize my responsibility for what was done to me.
As a child, I wasn’t capable of seeing the world differently than the white people that my parents surrounded me with. As an adult, however, I have a responsibility to do better by my friends, loved ones, fans, allies, and neighbors, to do better than what I was raised with.
As an adult, it’s my responsibility to think critically for myself and to inhale as much education from those around me as I can, so that I can be a stronger, better, and more importantly, more compassionate version of myself.
And THAT is why you’re being canceled.
It’s because you’re not shutting up. You’re not listening, you’re refusing to hear me. I’ve seen hundreds of hours of videos of white, cis, Christian, truckers, yelling at reporters and camera operators without giving them a chance to respond. The only reason you feel the need to yell over me or anyone who is like me is because you’re afraid of what I might say.
YOU need to unpack that. It’s not my responsibility to make sure you keep your job or your house. It’s my responsibility to make sure that this world is a better place for the next generation than it was for us. Not worse.
You might want to start unpacking that.
Sending all my love,
Devon J Hall