#SurvivorsConnection 2.0
Four Days Until Survivor’s Connection…I Couldn’t Be More Proud
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If We Are To Heal Then We Must First Discuss What’s Making Us Sick — Someone Wise
I am absolutely petrified but completely proud to say that we’re only four days away from the 2nd annual event for Loud Mouth Brown Girl dot com.
I wasn’t going to do the event if I am being honest. Last year went so awfully, with people speaking over each other, and one person, in particular, being completely rude and using the hour to make the whole event about themselves. It was really hard to decide that no, I was going to do this again and that yes, this year would be better.
This year I have my cohost Savannah Worley and our friend Nada Chehade who will be there to support and listen and maybe share some of their own stories.
We have women from The Surrey Women’s Center coming to talk about their work and what they do for clients with mental health issues, and we have a group of close friends like Morgane Oger who are coming to support and share their own stories, all for the world to see.
I am excited because I didn’t give up on myself this year. I could have very much done that and just pushed it away and moved on to new projects, but I think that what we’re doing here is important, and it’s important to be a part of setting the foundation.
In the future, I want to see more patients talking about their symptoms and their experiences. Patients who are working against cancer, are always talking about their experiences and sharing their stories, they’ve worked really hard to remove the stigma from topics like cancer, there’s no reason that those of us with mental health issues cannot do the same.
I struggle every day with shame, that comes from stigma, and this shame often finds me freezing up incapable of moving for hours a time. I don’t talk about it much but I really struggle with being proud of myself, even knowing how far I have come.
I still find myself competing with folks who don’t even have anything I want because I’m conditioned to want what other people, even though nothing anyone else has, is something that will serve or soothe me in some way. I am where I am supposed to be and that stings because this isn’t where I want to be, so I keep moving forward hoping I can get to the places I want to go soon.
That’s what having struggles in your life means, there’s nothing wrong with any of that.
Getting up and moving forward when you feel like you can’t is an act of rebellion against a world that doesn’t want you to succeed, and I struggle to remember this given all the trauma.
I honestly think I have severe brain damage due to trauma, but I don’t know how to go about finding out, so until I can, I focus on doing what I can do which is to bring folks together so that they can talk about their mental health issues in a safe warm and welcoming environment.
I hope you’ll consider joining us, on February 18th, 2022, live streaming on Youtube.
Sending all my love,
Devon J Hall, The Loud Mouth Brown Girl
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