What Do You Stand For?
Whole Ass Genocides Are Happening Around The World, Where Are You?
Years ago before I started podcasting, I had an online radio show called Radio Free Voice. I eventually had a partner, who stifled all the things that made RFV great.
My weirdness, my ability to be entertaining, and the fact that I didn’t take myself overly seriously, made the show fun. He was very business-minded, and thus the project eventually failed, not just because of that, but for a lot of reasons.
But it was a fun experiment in finding my voice again, after years of not having one.
RFV was the first time I felt like I had a voice to begin with, especially because at the time I started the project, I was “dating” this guy online, who delighted in making my life miserable.
I don’t even remember his name, but I do remember he and his friends thought it was a riot to constantly mess with me, which I think is why I had so many listeners, to begin with.
My favorites were the Germans who not only came on the show but also contributed to some of my musical choices.
In later years I started Comfortably Uncomfortable Conversations, and unfortunately, I made the wrong choice to delete those conversations because they were truly transformative to my journey.
Part of it is that I was done with those conversations, but part of it was that I was going to start a new podcast with Nada Chehade, but then the craziest shit happened.
Allegedly Hamas attacked some music festival and people died, but then what Israel did was worse. In less than 6 months the Israeli government in conjunction with Australia, America, Canada, and England, killed over 45,000 people at the last count I saw.
45,000.
That’s more than one entire village, town, or city.
People are dying, and all I can think is “I wish I had Radio Free Voice.” When the weather hit badly in New Jersey I was on the air telling volunteers where to go, helping to navigate food drops for folks who were stuck inside, and making sure that people knew how to get to safety.
My voice had a purpose, and my voice still has a purpose, but more importantly, so does yours.
Lots of people are conditioned to keep their mouths shut when shit pops off. “Stay silent, stay out of trouble,” is the rule for far too many, but in the name of Sudan, Congo, the DRC, and Palestine, I beg of you to use your voice.
The problem is that when you stay silent, a child dies. I wish I were exaggerating, but it’s the absolute truth.
Every single time you remain silent in the face of oppression, whether it’s you or someone else being oppressed, a child dies.
In 2023 the World Health Organization announced that the 8th billionth baby had been born on planet Earth. Born to a world filled with war and terror in every corner, is not the legacy I want to give my future children.
I was excited for 2.3 seconds until I learned that because of where that child lives and was born they are more likely to face struggles like poverty, hunger, lack of education, and housing, just like anywhere else in the fucking world, but in Asia, it’s even worse because there are more people and far less services.
I know that many people who read my work are angered by my finger-pointing, I don’t care, but what I do care about is why you are angry.
Are you angry because you think I’m talking to you, but you’re actually doing the work?
Or are you angry because you aren’t doing the work, you know you aren’t doing the work, and you feel ashamed for knowing better? Hah! I bet for some of you, it’s definitely this one.
Each of us on this planet is called to do something special, but it’s up to us to decide what that special thing is going to be.
It’s easier when you’ve taken careful consideration of the planet and all the things you know about yourself, to assess where you stand and how you feel, but some people are so blocked behind their indoctrination, that they don’t know how to do that.
Recently my white mother asked a Palestinian friend of hers, not mine, for resources because she wants to understand the struggle of the Palestinian people, while simultaneously learning about Zionism.
My mother is not a lazy woman. When called upon she will do the work and she will follow her heart which often leads her to helping the most vulnerable among us. It didn’t surprise me that my mom wanted resources, what surprised me was that she asked for resources.
My mother doesn’t often ask for help from others, but she’s learning as I am, to learn from other people instead of assuming that we have all the answers all the time.
My mom has always used her voice to help the most marginalized among us. Since I was little my mom has worked with kids who had developmental disabilities, later she started working with animals. After that, she went to work at a church where she helped open the first cold-weather shelter in the lower mainland.
It’s because of her that Canada has a nationwide cold weather shelter program, not her alone, but her work deliberately contributed to some of the solutions that are in place today.
I’m proud of my white mother and all the work she’s done to show me how to live. But now it’s my turn and as an almost 41-year-old stay-at-home writer, I’m not always quite sure where my voice belongs.
My mother taught me often through her work less by vocalizing her beliefs, that the best way to serve the world, was to serve the world.
We have to decide to be ambassadors of the issues that matter to us, instead of waiting for others to recognize our greatness.
I spent years wondering why so few people ever complimented me, it took me decades to realize lots of people are only interested in complementing a certain kind of beauty, and I was never going to fit the mold.
So I became— I am becoming — the person, I want to be, for the little girl who had no one when I was growing up.
Is it selfish? Sure, but along that selfish path are many people who may feel stuck and seen when they come across my sight.
I spend a lot of time watching the Housewives series, and the reason I choose — deliberately — not to judge the women who are on this show (except Dorit because fuck Zionist Israel,), is largely because I’m watching them live the life that I would have if I had that kind of cash.
I would be no different. I would be loud(er), obnoxious(er), and probably not very nice to be around all the time because with that kind of money comes absolute corruption and entitlement. I’m not saying I don’t want money, but I won’t take it at the risk of harming my own communities to get there.
I stand for the issues I stand for, not just because they affect me, but because when I stand for the issues that matter to me, I hold hands with folks from all around the globe, who are standing beside me, even when I cannot see them physically.
I know that when it comes to my stance on Palestine, mental health, education, freedom of expression, power for women and children, equity, autonomy, and space for those who are like me — and those who are not, I am not alone.
I am seeing more and more Christian people on Tik Tok, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and the like, and while I think it’s wonderful that the church is finally embracing technology, I also see a lot of judgment, shaming, and bullying happening on social media.
Especially for LGBTQ2S+NB kids, who don’t have the power to fight back against people who claim to be hackers, cops, or who seemingly have more power than these children.
They’re too ashamed to come forward because they’ve been taught that their very existence is a complete sin. And when I think about what I went through, when I think about all the war stories I heard from my grandparents, I start to realize that they didn’t fight Nazis so I could stay silent today.
My grandmother didn’t march in the world, didn’t become a librarian, and didn’t teach marginalized kids how to use their voices so that I could remain silent when those kids need me to be my truest loudest self.
Yes, I am The Loud Mouth Brown Girl, but I am also a disabled, non-binary human, who struggles with mental health issues. And as much as my friends can tell you, I hate labels, but they do help make it easier when introducing myself to other folks.
Labels, whether you like them or not, put you in a box that makes other folks more comfortable around you. When you use labels and pronouns, it invites folks to get to know you, it’s a harmless way of saying “This is who I am,” and a quiet way of asking “Will you please accept me?”
But because it’s different, and new, the Christian world — in particular — is terrified of it. They want us to believe that this idea of LGBTQ2S+NB or disabled is brand new, that there was no such thing as ADHD or Autism. Rather than deal with the problem, our ancestors just locked up the weird, the strange, the sick, and the disabled, beat and drugged them for years on end, and waited for them to die.
Now we know better, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that our society does better. And that’s why there is you. It’s your job to use critical thinking (OH MY GOD NO), to figure out what you know, how you know it, and whether or not what you know will be in the best interest of those around you.
You and you alone get to decide what side of history you’re going to be, on any issue. You can sit on your ass and ignore the pain and suffering of the world, or you can work your ass off to build something that other people see as a beacon of the light they so desperately need.
Right now the entire world is in turmoil, the only question you need to be asking yourself is “What can I do and how can I do it?”
Sending all my love,
Devon J Hall, The Loud Mouth Brown Girl
