After the divorce, how long can your pride last?
Do women need to remarry after divorce
With this question I asked a few divorced friends around me, and they said that it is really hard to say about this problem. Some people are indeed proud, but they must also have the capital of pride, which means that you don’t have to bow your heads to make a living when you are single again. In other words,
As long as you have enough money, you don’t need to rush to get married, or even stay single for the rest of your life.
I remember that I once wrote an article about a woman who remarried soon after divorce, and her second marriage was even more unsatisfactory.
There are comments from enthusiastic netizens at the back: Is it not fragrant to be single? Why do you want to break away from a sea of bitterness and then plunge into the next sea of bitterness? People who say this may have encountered marital dissatisfaction, but what we can see from it is that some people who have been divorced are immune to marriage.
And this immunity stems from his (her) confidence in their own control of life, and it also stems from their perception after reading the book of marriage.
Divorced people, from a practical point of view, have had the experience of failure and will not easily get involved in marriage unless they have someone worthy of association. It is more likely that they are forced by life.
Although it is cruel to say that, when a person’s mind becomes more mature and independent, the need for a partner will decrease. After the heart hurt in the previous marriage is restored, a transition period is still needed. During this transitional period, some people may begin to feel the ease and freedom outside of marriage, and they are even more reluctant to re-enter marriage.
So, returning to today’s topic, how long can you stay proud after divorce really lies in your ability to hold enough chips not to get married? When a person has been single for a long time, and the responsibilities on his shoulders become heavier, do you think about finding the other half to share it? The 47-year-old Jones gave an answer to this question. Although she had been clamoring to be single to the end six years ago, she finally remarried last month after experiencing two bankruptcies.
Jones is the most resolute of all the women I have ever met. She will not be knocked down when she encounters a problem, she will only give birth to an indomitable spirit and continue to work hard, as if every day with a high spirit of fighting spirit to invest, swear to die. .
Her ex-husband was incompatible with her character, dull, cowardly, afraid to express his opinions in the crowd, and timid and weak personality destined them to not get together. Their union may have been a mistake at the beginning. After having a son, there were even more irreconcilable conflicts in the family.
After the divorce, Jones was like a fish in the water, although some men around him would appear, but they were all short-lived, they came, and she didn’t care if they left. After all, in those years, she was the most beautiful President Yang, surrounded by many people in front of her and behind her, and she was surrounded by everyone in the center like a star holding the moon. She was highly regarded with proud capital.
Between men and women, to put it bluntly, they are all supported by capital. Especially when you are in your forties, no one thinks about love as purely as a glass of boiled water. You have a house, I have a villa, you have a scooter, I have a luxury car and a driver, you have a small workshop, and I have listed companies and hundreds of employees.
Although “how can a pheasant match a phoenix” is a joking line, but in Jones’s world, this is a true portrayal of men and women talking about feelings. Besides, she really didn’t have the heart to get married at that time. Even if she met the right person, she didn’t want to go into marriage and trap herself. If you have money and leisure, what’s wrong? Why do you have to marry and be a woman to wash your hands and make soup?
She didn’t want to, and didn’t want to make mistakes again when her career was prosperous. In the ten years with her ex-husband, she lost too much youth and beauty. After starting the company, the company was like her child. She watched the “child” she cultivated with her hard work grow up a little bit. Excitement and pride are the beautiful feedback in marriage that can’t be given to oneself.
Therefore, in the past six years after the divorce, although her personal emotions were not completely blank, but there were only two people who were really considered blue confidantes. She was not eager to marry herself, nor did she want to make promises lightly. What others do. Some people seem to be very close to her, but they are all thinking about getting some cooperation benefits under the guise of acquaintances.
The person who really treats her sincerely, besides Darwin, who had worked with her and reached out to help her when she was in trouble, there is another person, her driver Johnson. People do not have a hundred days to be good, and flowers do not have a hundred days to be red. After seven or eight years of smooth career, Jones began to gradually decline. In the last few years, she went bankrupt twice in succession. She was in dire straits and basically lost money.
After her bankruptcy, the biggest feeling she felt was that she was taking a cold tea. Those who used to be Mr. Yang, Mr. Yang, who automatically posted a set of enthusiastic people immediately disappeared. The house and car have been mortgaged to pay off the debt, and her personal assets are only a small two-house. That was before her father’s death. She has not been willing to sell the inheritance left to her.
After she became poor and white, Darwin verbally asked her to warm up for a while, invited her to eat a few meals, and lent her 20,000 yuan to help her through the temporary difficulties, and the phone could no longer get through. The one who has always been by her side is the Johnson who has been a driver for her for 5 years.
This person is 3 years older than her. Jones did not treat him badly when the company was running smoothly before. The two were merely an employment relationship between superiors and superiors. But after she was completely bankrupt, the whole person’s energy was also lost. Johnson not only did not leave, but he never left her, stayed with her to encourage her, and even paid for a food stall in Caishikou. Jones was invited to buy shares, saying that the two did it together.
If a woman guesses what a man thinks, she might be able to understand it at one point. Jones didn’t know that Johnson had always loved him, but because of the two being in a cloud and a mud, he was not qualified to confess. In addition, Darwin has always been her first choice, and other people are even more unwilling to hope. Now that she fell from the clouds, Johnson caught her silently, moving her heart.
Love is one thing, sympathy is another. People are real. Jones looked down upon Johnson before, because he was just his own driver. Her greatest pride was not her well-maintained appearance, nor her assets in the bank, but her business talents. The one who can stand by her shoulders should be a man with the same capital. But now, when they are almost equal, she has to carefully examine the only remaining capital in her hands.
She is not young anymore, and Darwin’s indifference has shown that she has been excluded from the circle of his associations. But the glory of the past is no longer, and it is not easy to want to make a comeback. What is even more frightening is that she already feels that her energy is fading, and she is actually intent and powerless for many ideas. She had to face the reality that she now needs someone around her to support herself and help her raise her son together.
This once extremely proud woman finally surrendered to reality after the capital in her hand was exhausted. Johnson and her quickly received a marriage certificate. The two remarried without inviting others, but simply invited the family to eat a meal. After the food stall opened, the couple made a small business together.
Everyone who knew Jones was sighing. A woman who was once such a good woman couldn’t help falling into the clichés and throwing herself into the arms of a vulgar man. But in fact, this is exactly the topic we will touch on today: After divorce, how long your pride can last depends on how long the capital in your hands can support.
Not everyone is lucky to have a long career, and some people, like Jones, are unlucky and stumbled. When career and material are not enough to keep you single, finding a partner and using marriage as your support is an easy way for women to think of.
Divorce is not an ugly thing, nor does it mean that divorce will be labeled as a failure, but there will always be some people who would rather stay single after divorce because of good conditions. The reason why they can persist in doing this, except for faith, There is still enough capital.
When you reach middle age, your parents don’t have much material left for you to chew on your old age. You can only rely on yourself. After the divorce, you must be able to maintain the beauty and dignity, have a skill in hand or have enough savings to achieve financial freedom, which allows you to pursue what you want without any scruples, instead of being stuck on having to use marriage to prove your life. Meaning.
In the correct view of marriage and love, it is sad to attach one’s life to one’s partner, but those who can really use their own power to make life into a flower in non-marriage, their inner spiritual power is strong enough. Although the divorce does not mean that you must not get married, it is just that before starting the next marriage, you should not complain or abandon yourself because of the divorce. Instead, you will repair the wall of your soul and use your own strength to prove your own value. This is also something to be proud of. matter.
Don’t think that if you are married or divorced, your life opportunities will change drastically because of this. The person who can write your life is always only you.
Marriage is just a temporary shelter from the wind. When you need to sail in a new direction, you also need you to be your own helm.
