My Husband Encouraged Me To Have An Affair

I never thought of myself as the type of wife to have “An Affair.” It was not something I fantasized about. I’m married, live locally to great friends and family who I see often, and have a demanding career that exhausts and fulfills me. Forget the desire. When would I find the time?

As much as I crave physical touch, closeness, and emotional intimacy, I’ve never confused the two. When I was 23, I learned you could have intoxicating, explosive, cannot-get-enough-of-each-other sex with someone you don’t even particularly enjoy speaking to. Our interests, politics, and personalities were not compatible, it was impossible to get through a conversation without it devolving into an argument, and yet. The way our bodies fit together brought unbelievable pleasure, every time.

While I can separate great sex from great love, hookup culture has never felt comfortable for me. I am not someone who thinks to go home with a man the first time I meet him. I’ve never had a successful tinder date. I need time. I need to be wooed a little. I need to know and feel safe with the person who is going to be in my bed, between my legs, and inside of me. I enjoy sex— a lot — but anonymous, no strings attached sex does nothing for me.

My husband, Ben, is the love of my life. We met through mutual friends when I was 23 and he was 31. Now 35 and…