Are You Ignoring the Whispers From Your Soul?
Are You Resisting Becoming the Person You’re Meant to Become?
I taught myself to read when I was 3 years old because I wanted to write stories so badly.
You’d think, with that sort of intensity, I would have been a published novelist by the time I was twenty-five.
Instead, I ended up taking a much longer route, where I started my own very successful copywriting and marketing company and lost track of my writing dreams for decades.
I told myself myself if I only got more organized, I would be able to write my books. So, I bought planners and binders and systems. I studied time-mangement systems and productivity hacks.
None of it worked.
Oh, sure, I did improve my productivity and was able to get more things done in a day. But, somehow, that never translated into me working on my books.
For years, I struggled with this. I beat myself up because I thought I was procrastinating too much. I would tell myself “after I get X project done, I’ll have time to start my books.” (Of course, once that project was done, something else typically popped up to take its place.) I even tried meditation and journaling to see if that would make a difference.
This went on for years.
Until the day my mother died.
I remember sitting with her when she in ICU about 9 months before she died, (but at the time, I thought it was the end). I was alone with her, and I was holding her hand (and crying) while I chanted two things to myself.
Let go and let God.
I’m not going to die with my books inside me.
Her death cracked me open. It finally got me to realize this was it — this was all the life we had. And, if I didn’t find time to work on my books now, when would I?
That’s when I finally got serious about doing whatever it took to bring my books into the world.
Along the way, I discovered a little secret about goal setting and why we so often fail at our goals.
You see, I’m starting to believe the biggest problem we have around goal-setting is we think it’s something external — a way to organize ourselves and our life, and it has a beginning and an end.
What goal-setting should REALLY be thought of is a personal development tool — an internal job that exists to help us evolve as people with no beginning and no ending.
I believe there are something called love-based goals that are whispers from your soul. Your soul is calling you to evolve and become the person your soul knows you can be, and when you become that person, your goals will come true.
(Hence it’s like a reward — your reward for evolving is to have your goals and dreams come true.)
The problem is, your ego and your subconscious aren’t that interested in you evolving and becoming a different person. One of the main goals (ha!) of your ego and subconscous is to keep you safe. And becoming a different person isn’t safe. Even if the person you’re becoming is a better, more evolved person.
While I’m calling it a different way of setting goals, you may have seen it described as The Resistance (from Steven Pressfield in the War of Art) or an Upper Limit Problem (Gay Hendricks).
It doesn’t really matter what we call it. What matters is how we deal with it.
How do we respond when we start taking action on our love-based goals, which means we’re making strides to becoming a better person, and we’re triggered?
(And we will be triggered, count on it.)
What does being triggered look like? All sorts of uncomfortable, fear-based emotions, such as grief, anger, resentment, worry, fear, shame, guilt, envy and more, swarm to the surface, demanding we feel them.
Maybe we make up a story about these emotions. It must be a sign from the Universe that we’re really not supposed to move forward because it feels so awful. Right?
Or maybe we self -sabotage our goals and dreams. We get sick or cause unnecessary drama in our lives (so we have something else to focus on) or we drink too much or binge shop or whatever our vice is. Because it feels too difficult to move through those emotions.
Or we let our fears stop us from taking action. (What if our fears come true? What will we do?)
Whatever our typical reaction to our trigger is, the end result is the same — we aren’t taking action toward our love-based goals. And that means we aren’t evolving into the person our soul is nudging ourselves to be.
But, what if we did something different? What if we armed ourselves with personal development tools, such as meditation and journaling and emotional freedom technique (tapping), when we found ourselves getting in the way of taking action on our goals? What if, instead of doing what we always do to avoid feeling our uncomfortable emotions, we paused and breathed and felt them instead?
What if we focused on becoming the person our soul is nudging us to become, and let our love-based goals naturally unfold along the way?
What would happen then?
If you’d like to learn more about love-based goals, check out my new book “Love-Based Goals: Your Guide to Living Your Purpose and Passion” plus check out my LoveBasedBizBlog.com