Confidence: the art of having faith
Musings on Heart Powered Human Leadership
Confidence comes from a Latin word ‘fidere’ which means “to trust”. Con meaning ‘with’. So to have confidence ultimately means to have trust or to go ahead with faith in someone or something.
That can be faith in yourself, others, the Universe. I have always found it interesting to reflect on the idea of confidence. It is not so much a state to aspire to — as it is a way of being. I have noticed others often ascribe confidence to a person, yet I notice when that is applied to me — it is not confidence I am feeling on the inside…
It is more an open willingness to be present with whatever comes and a knowing that no matter what happens I will handle it.
It is a kind of meeting the moment with open arms — having faith in me and others and life — that somehow it will turn out.
A sense of certainty that life; the situation, the presentation, the activity, the interaction — will be ok and I will be ok. This is not blind faith. I have noticed in my own life that although many things have not gone to (my) plan — they have brought me gifts, blessings and learnings I would not have otherwise received — sometimes ‘The Universe’ knows better than I do what I need — I have learned to have faith in that.
When it comes to other people, I have made it my life’s work to understand what makes us all tick. Whilst I cannot ever be sure of the perception of another…
I can have certainty in the fact that no matter our external differences and cultural contexts — as humans, we all work the same way.
When people behave differently that I expect or hope for, I know they are operating 100% in alignment with what makes sense to them in their minds in that moment. They too are a function of stories and perceptions believed about how life appears to them. They may be feeling away from home — operating from insecurity. We are however, all connected — I know that what they are made of and how their experience works — is the same as mine.
This is re-assuring and allows me to have faith in the possibility of finding common ground and a place to connect from — with anyone.
After all, we are all seeking to feel at home — on the inside — and we all can get scared sometimes.
When it comes to confidence in myself — I do not pay a lot of attention to this idea. It seems to me that knowing where to place our faith is the natural order of things and arises naturally when we are in alignment with our own being.
Although I am aware of doubt when it arises. Doubt could be considered the opposite of confidence. Many of us are plagued by self-doubt.
I have come to see what doubt is; its uses and its limits — so I am less inclined to pre-occupy myself with doubts.
Doubt is ultimately a thought-created feeling. It is temporary in nature and is a creation of the intellectual mind. Like all weather, it is a natural part of the landscape and something to be welcomed and embraced, if not always entertained or acted upon.
Doubt is a kind of insecure, anxious thinking. What if… I can’t do it, be it, it goes wrong. What if I take the risk and I fail? What will other people think of me? This the voice of Doubt — can you hear the fears? Whilst real fear can arise due to an impending danger that needs direct action — most of our fears are possible spectres that are unlikely, and even if they happened — we would handle it. Fear rarely brings out the best quality in our thinking and actions. It tends to tunnel vision and limit the options. The antidote can often be — to feel the fear — and do it anyway — with faith.
Is this right for me? Is another voice of doubt. I find this voice brings a different kind of message and feeling to me — it is inviting me to slow down, go within and tune in to a deeper knowing. Not one that could be used as a logical business case in a court of law — but the softer inner guidance that is always available when we pause long enough to hear. Our own innate wisdom — this embodied, felt sense of what is needed now will always guide us well, even if we don’t always understand it rationally.
It seems that Faith has been devalued since we became enamoured with the idea of living in a material world as separate beings. Which in itself is a flawed idea — as it seems to me in reality we are connected in every way.
Charles Eisenstein writes about the limits of this way of perceiving our World as the Old Story — the Story of Separation:
- What happens to other beings or the world need not affect me, because I am separate.
- The driving force of human behaviour, especially economic behaviour, is to maximise rational self-interest.
- The forces of nature are indifferent to humanity. The other beings of nature are indifferent or hostile to human well-being. Progress therefore comes through domination of nature.
- Change happens through the application of force. Therefore, human progress means greater and greater ability to apply force, and to manipulate the world with greater and greater precision.
- The great purpose and destiny of humanity is to bring order and intelligence to a world that has none of its own.
- Only what can be weighed, counted, or measured is real.
- Mind is superior to emotion, spirit is superior to flesh, high is better than low, God is in the sky.
- Nature is separate from ourselves. It is the “environment” containing resources for us to use.
- The destiny of humanity is to perfect our understanding (through science) and control (through technology) to rise above nature, leave earth behind, conquer disease, suffering, and even death.
He also writes that we can collectively co-create a New Story: The Story of Inter-being — that is closer to the truth; that we are all connected in One Infinite Being (whatever your word for that is — the energy that exists and binds us all).
- What happens to others or the world will always affect me, because self and other are inseparably related.
- Human beings yearn to express their gifts towards something meaningful. We each have a unique and necessary gift for the world.
- The universe is generous. We can thrive by cooperating with the forces of nature and the rest of life.
- Force is but one means through which creative intelligence is made manifest. The universe operates through morphic resonance: any change that happens anywhere, no matter how small, contributes to a field in which that change happens everywhere.
- The purpose of humanity is to participate in the unfolding of life and beauty in the cosmos.
- Reality has a qualitative dimension that will always elude reduction to quantity.
- High and low, spirit and flesh, sky and soil, mind and emotion are all integral, necessary, and coequal notes in the symphony of being.
- Nature is part of us and we are part of nature.
- The destiny of humanity is to bring all our gifts and powers into the service of life, to create beauty and wonders, and to witness what life creates through us and around us. It starts with healing the damage done in the Age of Separation.
I know which story I am interested in being, contributing to and having — and the one I have confidence in— the one where we have faith in and listen to the wisdom that is in our hearts.
For leaders who want to lead with humanity, heart and wisdom.
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