I can now plank because I learned how to rest
Musings on Heart Powered Human Leadership
About six weeks ago I started with a Personal Trainer. I am approaching my 60th year and I want it to be a good year and when it comes the time — a good old age. There is no doubt that being fully embodied; listening to, moving and taking care of my body has got to be a central ‘plank’ of my strategy. However, this hasn’t always come naturally.
I can be driven — and easily adopt a mind over matter mindset.
I am of stoic Dutch stock — from a family of immigrants who navigated and survived the hardships of the second world war. I know how to push through. I remember I once ran a residential leadership retreat whilst still breastfeeding my six week old baby, with my husband, mother and new au pair in tow — whilst having a gallstone attack. (In my opinion — this pain is up there with giving birth). I don’t recommend it.
My mother was a nurse — so anyone who has medical professionals in the family will know — unless you are actually at deaths door — they will tell you get on with it. And you do.
All this mental strength and determination in the face of hardship has stood me in good stead. It has taught me how to persevere and to tough it out — but prioritising resting and self-care — not so much.
I had to teach myself to learn to listen to my body and what it needed.
When I started with my PT — I couldn’t plank — at all. Her approach is bright and sunny — Don’t worry we will get there — she said. Just do what you can and then take a rest. Her approach is to do a minute or so of intense strength or cardio work and then to take a minute of rest. I started to think — was I really working hard enough — shouldn’t I be pushing myself more — should I really be resting so much?
Yet after every time I took the rest, I also found I could keep going.
These small wins inspired me to go on a yoga retreat —two times a day there were two hour yoga sessions — and there were plenty of child and savasana poses— anyone who does yoga will know they are the poses where you fully and deeply surrender to rest. When your body integrates all the work you have done.
On the last day of the retreat — we did some planking. Surprisingly I found I could do it! This was very satisfying and I came back to show my PT my new planking skills. She was impressed.
I also reflected with her that once I get in a groove with exercise my competitive nature always wants to push that little bit harder, go that bit further — take it to the limit one more time — and that this is often exhausting. Then I can’t sustain it and crash and maybe give up.
What I realised that she had taught me — was that the missing piece for me was building in rest as mandatory.
Whether I thought I needed it or not.
The goal of planking seemed unachievable to me at the outset of the PT and yet here I am holding planks. I am now convinced that the key lies in resting.
I needed to ensure that rejuvenation, relaxation and rest were integrated into my whole approach — and not just seen as a reward or a luxury.
Rest had to become a basic necessity and seen as something I fully deserve.
I suspect this metaphor holds true in many areas of my life — maybe it does in yours too. What if the only thing that is missing between you and achieving all you ever wanted is the willingness to give yourself a break. Take some space. Really rest.
Maybe that will be — like it has been for me — when the magic actually happens.
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