How to win the Game of Life
Musings on Heart Powered Human Leadership
I know it seems like a lot of things really, really matter. Especially now — in the world we find ourselves in — we can certainly see a LOT of things that look like they need fixing, sorting and resolving. However. In the world of matter— everything is impermanent.
“Matter” comes from a Sanskrit root “mātrā”, which means to measure. To lay out the foundation, say, for a building.
Anything that can be measured in form is by definition temporary. Anything of this world — our world — the world of form cannot last. Everything comes and goes. Land masses, structures, trees. Seasons, cultures, epochs, empires and eras. Thoughts, feelings and bodies — they all come and go. Everything is temporary.
This too will pass.
What really mattered to us yesterday (in our thinking or perception) doesn’t always look the same way to us today. What was deeply desired or even needed yesterday-yesteryear — is no longer wanted in the same way, has lost it’s shine or been fulfilled and so it has lost it’s shine.
Remember back to that love, house, job, toy, achievement, launch, food , body— ‘thing’ you really, really wanted? Maybe it was ten years ago, maybe it was last year — it probably doesn’t seem quite that same way now to you. Not so all-important or consuming.
Remember that terrible thing that you really didn’t want to happen? It either happened or it didn’t — and either way — (maybe it took a while) — you were ok — in the end.
Here is the thing: nothing really matters.
I appreciate that this can sound a bit nihilistic or glib.
It is in fact one of the most deeply empowering perspectives to hold if you want to win in the game of life.
We can all get very serious about ourselves sometimes. Or more accurately said — our ego — the thought-created identity of who we mistakenly think we really are — can feel compellingly real and it can take itself very seriously. It wants to protect itself from being found out as made-up from ideas. It wants to maintain the idea of itself. At all costs. And any threat to it is certainly NOT FUNNY.
But we are not permanently any thought or idea. We are much more fluid than that. We are energy constantly changing form.
Now this is a paradox — how can you make things happen or lead real change or win the game of life — if nothing really matters?
How it looks to me is that you can still listen in to the flow of life for what action is wanting to happen through you — for inspiration. Inspired action is the source of effortless action and change. Engaging in actions you are inclined to and playing full out — with nothing on it (ie not investing your identity or ok-ness) means being all in but not wedded.
Acting and doing stuff from that place is the funnest, most productive and effective games in town.
I was talking to one of my C-Suite Execs today about some big decisions and a role she might need to play at Board level. It’s kind of roll the dice time. Stick or Switch. If she sticks and does nothing about a certain situation — she may regret not being brave and doing what she believes is right. If she switches she might drop a bomb that makes her some enemies and people who no longer wish to work with her, or even talk to her. Today she faced this head on and felt into where she is really at.
If she speaks out, she actually doesn’t mind which way it will go. She knows when she comes back home to her Core she can be happy either way. She can be free to be. She knows she will be ok.
It wasn’t always that way for her — she used to be dogged by concern about what will other people think — especially certain people on said Board. Now she is less identified with that, less attached to what others may think and more interested in just playing the game. Seeing what happens. Going for it — knowing it will turn out for her whatever way the dice roll. I think that for her is going to be a winning formula.
The Hindu have a name for the Game of Life it is called Leela or Lila.
The word leela is Sanskrit for ‘the divine play of God’ and the world is seen as the stage of the divine play. As such, leela represents the idea that, as Shakespeare put it, “all the world’s a stage, and all the men and women merely players.” We don’t have to take ourselves so seriously.
Werner Erhard — one of my great teachers — offered the optimum frame of mind for winning in the Game of Life:
Be committed but not attached.
Committed as in willing to play full out and play to win — but not attached to the outcome — as in you are not overly identified with achieving or getting the results — you just play the game with awareness and interest — for the joy of the game. As a player on the stage. To live and to learn.
Or you can be totally attached — fully invested and need to win against any and all odds. Hyper focused — even obsessed and having to have every waking moment be about the win — ignoring your own and others needs in the process and knocking out anyone who gets in your way (or is that just me?)
I think it is pretty clear which one is more enjoyable, leaves you freed up, more relaxed, and flexible. Open, able to pivot and respond, innovate in the moment. Which one works better and gives you more enJOYment. More Joy.
Which by the way, seems to me to be the point of life; being here — in a body — right now in this form;
How much presence, appreciation and enjoyment for what is right here, happening right now can you experience?
Maybe that is what winning the game of life looks like.
It seems to me we all want to enjoy our work and life. We are designed for enjoyment — for play, laughter and connecting. The more we enjoy and immerse ourselves in a thing — the better we get at it. And the better we get at it — the more we enjoy it.
If you lead a team of people who knew they had the capacity to enjoy whatever they did — do you think that would impact the success of your business?
In the game of life; play full-out to win, don’t mind if you lose.
It’s all good, it’s all the game.
For leaders who want to lead with humanity, heart and wisdom.
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