Valentine’s Day is fast approaching, less than a week away. Though I’m not one for big shows of candy, roses, and the like simply because Hallmark says so, I know some people go for that.
Personally, I prefer my partner to surprise me with tokens of affection because it’s Monday. Mondays kind of suck, and my partner giving me a much needed massage or break from the toddler goes a long way toward making my heart soar.
But if you’re the Valentine’s Day celebratory type, or you just wonder how couples find time for one another in this busy world, read on!
Even being a freelancer who works from home, I don’t have a lot of free hours in the day. From the moment I get up until the second I fall into bed, there’s something going on. I balance work with Mom and wife life.
I use the word balance rather freely. I don’t have the best balance, literally or figuratively.
Let’s be real here, tree pose in yoga requires me to hold on to a wall.
But I always make time for my partner(s).
It’s important to me for my partner(s) to know they can always come to me when they need to talk, need a hug, or need some sexual healing.
So, how do I do it? More importantly, how can you?
When you don’t work from home, it’s more difficult to stop what you’re doing and drop everything for your partner. But there are things you can do in order to make time for them when you are available.
No one likes getting up early. If you do, just keep that to yourself, okay?
If you’re not an early bird, staying up a bit later can be the answer. If you have children, once you put the little devils to bed for the night, take the time to get things done around the house you don’t want to deal with in the morning.
I am not a morning person, at all. I also can’t stand to wake up to a dirty kitchen. Once dinner is finished, I quickly clean the kitchen and get my coffee station ready to simply push the button as soon as I wake up.
This makes my morning go so much more smoothly and saves me from being as grumpy.
Everyone’s evening and needs looks different. Once our monster is in bed, we like to unwind by watching a little television. That usually looks like me actually reading a book on my phone and alternately chatting with friends, and my partner watching videos on his phone; with the television playing in the background.
It works for us.
We shower and soak together each night. We have a large garden tub in our bathroom and it gives us time to relax together and talk about our day. Currently, my in-laws and nephew live with us, so this private time together gives us a chance to have conversations we don’t want anyone else privy to.
There’s a good chance after soaking, we’ll be engaging in some adult activities.
For us, unless one of us is not feeling well, we have sex 4–5 times per week. There are times that number is higher. It depends on the week we’ve had and how we’re physically feeling.
My husband is even more of a night owl than I am. Because I enjoy spending time with him, I stay up at least an hour longer than I would, were it just me.
This is how I choose to carve out time to spend with my partner.
Our third, Char, lives a few hours away, so we don’t get to physically spend time with her more than about once a year. But, I talk to her most days. We check in with one another regularly, even if it’s just to say hello, share photos, talk about our kids, and our lives.
In the past couple of months, I’ve gotten close with two other ladies who, gods willing, we’ll meet in the not so distant future. I talk to them almost daily as well. It’s the same as with Char, I want to be sure they are doing well, how their days are going, how their families are doing, etc.
Carving out time with your partner(s) isn’t always about sex. Sometimes, it’s the simple things like checking in on their mental health, their physical health, how their family is doing, asking if they need anything, that can mean just as much.
Relationships take work. We’ve all been told work isn’t fun but I don’t agree. Work, like life, is what we make of it. And the end result is well worth all the effort.