How to Love Someone Who Has an Anxious Attachment Style
It’s not always easy, but it’s worth it
Whenever he pulled away, I didn’t know what to do. But I felt like I had to do something.
He was my first really serious boyfriend. Not the first guy I dated or fucked, but the one who made me feel like I finally knew what it meant to be in love.
He was sweet, affectionate, and tender. He was fully present when we were together, even when we weren’t having sex.
At least, he was for a few weeks. Then things started to change.
I’d go over to his place and we’d have sex. I always looked forward to that fuck — the way it made me feel relieved from missing him and made me feel like he had missed me, too. Having him close to me and inside me made me feel connected.
Then, we’d finish and his attention would drift elsewhere. He’d sit at his computer and ignore me for long stretches of time.
I sat on his bed, half-listening to Queens of the Stone Age playing from his speakers. I watched him smirk before typing out instant messages to the other people in his life. I felt left out and distressed.
I wasn’t doing much during those hours spent alone on his bed, but my mind was racing.
