“Get the lube.”
I find myself saying those three words more often lately.
Partly, that’s because I’m having a lot more sex than I was last year. My health is better and writing about sex daily makes me want to have sex — well, not daily, but pretty damn often.
But the real reason is that I’m being a lot more liberal with my use of it. I’m not waiting until I feel like I need lube to splash some on. I use it whenever I think it would be more fun.
And it’s pretty much always more fun with lube.
Embracing the joys of lube came late to me, though.
Whenever I heard about lube as a sexually active teenager, it was always as a punchline, not as advice.
There was always some implication that it’s for women who just can’t get wet (no, nobody ever mentioned that the issue might be that someone else isn’t doing enough to get them there).
So, I never looked into it because I didn’t think it was something I needed. Even if I did, I think I would have been too embarrassed to admit it or to use it with a boyfriend. I wanted to seem sexy and fun, and not being able to get wet sounded like neither of those things.
That’s a shame, really, because none of my boyfriends were that good at foreplay. We managed to have decent sex anyway, but it’s only because my mind got me aroused enough without their assistance.
And then I got involved with a guy who loved anal sex. So much so, he insisted that we do it, regardless of my hesitations. Apparently, refusing to let him fuck my ass meant I didn’t really love him (pretty romantic, huh?)
I agreed, but I wasn’t really prepared for it (and not as enthusiastic as you should be when you decide to try it). He had lube, and he slathered a bunch on my ass instead of his cock.
It was painful when he fucked me, and it still hurt the day after.
After that experience, I wasn’t exactly sold on the magical powers of lube.
It would take me quite a while before I rediscovered it, and even longer before I found out just how much fun it can be.
The Basic Uses of Lube
When I actually looked into lube and bought my own, it was because of anal sex again.
This time, though, I wasn’t doing it under pressure. I was in a loving and respectful relationship, and at this point I wasn’t about to put up with pain and discomfort.
It’s not something I did reluctantly. It’s something I wanted to do. It’s something I initiated.
I felt intense passion for my boyfriend, and part of that was wanting him to put his cock in my ass.
Pretty romantic, huh?
It was fun, exciting, and pleasurable. But it was still sometimes a bit of a challenge. A palmful of spit can only make you so comfortable.
I didn’t have a clue what to look for in a lubricant. My mom never taught me the difference between silicone-based and water-based lubes and the guy who ran the sex shop wasn’t the type of person I felt comfortable asking advice from. So, I just grabbed the first bottle that caught my eye and brought it home in a black plastic bag.
Using it with a caring partner was a game changer.
It was no longer a tool to push through with someone who isn’t ready. It was just this lovely slick stuff that helped you get the results you fantasized of getting.
Lube also came in handy for vaginal sex. I never used it as a substitute for arousal (if I wanted a quickie, it’s because I was already getting wet) but I did use it when my body refused to cooperate with me.
My libido has fluctuated over the years. When it wasn’t at its peak, there were times I wanted sex or even craved it but my body wouldn’t line up with my wants. I’d have to get Mr. Austin to lube up and help things along.
For more than ten years, that’s how I used lube. But recently, I’ve discovered that you don’t have to just take it out when things are too dry. You can use it to enhance an already pleasurable experience.
I rarely need lube to have sex, but I also enjoy using it even when it’s not needed.
Even when sex doesn’t hurt or feel uncomfortable, adding lube can help make penetration completely frictionless.
A lubed up cock or fingers (or both if you’re into pushing your limits) can slide and glide effortlessly.
There’s not even a slight feeling of friction, and it encourages some really smooth fucking.
It’s a nice feeling on its own, but it also makes it easier to have faster, harder, more aggressive sex.
That’s not always the ideal way to fuck. I’m not the kind of lady who always begs for rough treatment and if it’s what I was on Tuesday it doesn’t mean I want a repeat performance on Thursday. I like to switch things up, keep everything interesting, and follow my whims wherever they take me.
But when I just so happen to be in the mood for a real pounding, it’s nice to throw on some lube and get some extra comfort.
Slicked Up Self-Love
I usually masturbate with a bit of mechanical assistance. With a vibrator, that is, not a fucking machine.
Recently, though, I wanted to take things slow and have some sensual fun instead of just rubbing one out.
So, I locked the bedroom door, laid in bed with my pants off, and touched myself.
This time, I did something new (new for me, anyway). I applied lube to my fingers before starting.
It’s something that wouldn’t have ever occurred to me back when I treated lube as just a way to make penetration easier. But I’m really glad I tried it.
Using the lube on my fingers made me more sensitive to my own touch. The sensation of my fingers gliding over my clit was even better than it usually is.
It also allowed me to use a lighter touch and still get the maximum amount of pleasure I can give myself.
It was also an interesting sensory experience for my fingers. Keeping my clit and labia extra smooth and slippery made it feel really nice to the touch.
Lube seems to make me more sensitive when I use my vibrator, too. I have no idea if this is true of most women or if it’s a common experience, but I do know that I managed to give myself a stronger orgasm than usual thanks to the lube.
I can’t guarantee you’ll get similar results. But if you have a clit and you like rubbing it, try getting your fingers really slick first. If you don’t have a blast like I did, at least you’ll still be masturbating.
Lube as a Visual Aid
Mr. Austin’s been getting himself off more lately. It started when I invited him to stroke himself in the bedroom instead of doing it by himself.
He must really love my company, because he’s been doing it on any night we’re not having sex.
I don’t always join in with some self-pleasure of my own, and I don’t always stay awake for it. But when I’m up, I usually just lay next to him and enjoy the show.
And what a show it is. Watching his hand work his cock, listening to him groan, and seeing the messy finish all make for some high-quality entertainment.
And lubrication makes it even better.
For this specific purpose, Mr. Austin goes for a more natural alternative. Instead of commercial lube, he uses a bit of sweet almond oil (we bought it for massages, and what is jerking off if not a very localized massage?), but the results are the same.
Lubrication makes his hands glide more easily across his shaft and over his head, which is very aesthetically pleasing. And so is the wet and glistening look he achieves with just a few drops of the stuff.
I love watching. But I love it even more when lube’s involved.
Lube Up for (Almost) Everything
Anyone who’s old enough to fuck should have a bottle of lube in their bedroom (or in the dashboard if you’re one of those wild people who fuck on the road). And not just for anal or otherwise dry sex.
Pretty much everything feels and looks better when there’s lube involved. Tit fucking, pussy jobs and ass jobs (also charmingly known as hot dogging) can all be enhanced with it. For handjobs, lube is more fun if the guy is uncut and especially helpful if he’s circumcized. If you want to fuck someone’s thighs, that’s also the way to go. And footjobs aren’t my jam, but if they’re yours, I’m sure a little lube would go a long way.
Basically, any time you’re working a cock, it’s worth using.
And it’s a lot of fun if you’re just working yourself, too.
If you’re sticking to the basic uses like I used to, I highly recommend changing your lube mindset. When you start using it frequently and for just about anything, you’ll wonder why you didn’t do it sooner.
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