Healing Circle 14th July 2019 | Delhi
14th July was a memorable day in the history of ICC and Wimbledon.
Two of the most awaited sporting finals of 2019. The ICC World Cup final and the Wimbledon Gentlemen’s Singles final. England and Novak Djokovic came out as winners.
Amidst the controversies and disagreement in rules, the ultimate winner was their SPORTSMANSHIP. Irrespective of the end result, the EFFORT and Attitude is something which will always be cherished and
this connects us with our MOTTO & our situations as well.
With the hint of these exclusive events going on the same day, the energetic, enthusiastic LHC (Love Heals Cancer) members moved out to gather for Healing Circle in Delhi at Poonam Aunty’s place.
Healing circles are safe havens that help us step out of ordinary time into a safe and accepting environment in which we can explore our healing.
This calm space opens a portal allowing us to connect to a deeper wisdom within, to the power of community, love, and healing intentions around us,
remove inner obstacles to realize our vision in the world is the practice of The Healing Circle.
You can go through experiences of our previous healing circles @ LHC:
https://medium.com/love-heals-cancer/first-healing-circle-experience-at-love-heals-cancer-b82fd5f3d1d
https://medium.com/love-heals-cancer/second-healing-circle-at-gurgaon-49c810395b33
Key Points:
- Cancer Retreats
- The need for Integrative Oncology/BCCT
- Share Survivor Stories
- Care Counseling in Hospitals
The discussion started with a minute of silence followed by a brief introduction of the participants. This was the first healing circle I attended. I was curious to listen to each one and what brought them here. While speaking the individual must hold onto a talking piece which for this circle was LHC badge. All the rest of the speakers listen carefully.
The talking piece and expressions:
Dimple shared her words of wisdom and the immense energy she brings with her fills the place with great vision and cheer.
She updated us on various programs like:
1) Cancer Retreats: A place where cancer warriors/caregivers can come together over a weekend at a calm place, spend some time together away from the city and their daily routine, take a break, feel refreshed, share experiences. A lot of healing practices will be done here including yoga, meditation, talking, sharing, etc. She planned to have these kinds of retreats in Mumbai, Delhi.
2) Nurses counseling: She expressed that nurses are closest to the patients and must be educated to handle patient’s stress, build a positive environment around to cope with such situations.
3) Integrative therapies: She expressed interest in knowing ways we can find someone who is practicing an integrative approach in India.
Neha Goswami (Myself) briefed her Mom’s past 2 years’ journey with Glioblastoma Multiforme grade 4(GBM4). I shared the challenges I, along with my family faced from diagnosis to stress, to fear of death, treatment, radiation, chemotherapy, searching for alternative approaches, talking about researches with oncologists, the fluctuating MRI reports and drafting a cocktail approach/diet suitable for my Mom which she could follow.
I was happy to share that my Mom’s positive thinking, strong will power, my family’s togetherness, handling situations calmly had made this journey possible when we knew that the survey says that 95% of GBM4 patients do not survive more than 6–9 months. We were hopeful about the 5% survival chance.
Post my Mom finished 16 chemo cycles and there were stable scans, her Onco in PGI Lucknow suggested to skip chemo cycles.
I shared my wonderful experience with Patrice Surley (a Nutritionist in Texas) who practices an integrative approach to deal with GBM. We are consulting her for the past 1 year.
I am open to know about trials and strongly feel to only try labeled medicines and not use medicines with content not known. Always know and research beforehand.
I was happy to brief on most of the alternative treatment options for GBM which I came to know with my fellow GBM caregivers and shared below link which has a great amount of useful information/treatment options related to GBM grade 4.
I wish to work in the direction so that even in India we have Integrative therapies/BCCT for Cancer because the ultimate goal is to boost Immune system of our body so that the bad cells don’t get an environment to multiply, the supplements actually, take care of all essentials vitamins and minerals to have greater impact of chemo and radiation.
This link has been compiled by the fellow GBM caregivers in one of GBM circles I am connected to:
https://drive.google.com/open?id=16H_h4jNcPL_o90aaWfKD63f4SR9Lj4HJ
I have also drafted my Mom’s personal journey in this facebook page to circulate information and most importantly instill HOPE.
https://m.facebook.com/Glioblastoma-New-normal-of-life-360246911361128/
I strongly feel that sharing survivor stories is a MUST, every survivor must do to create AWARENESS. I am following 2 GBM long term survivors, and wish my Mom to be one someday :) :
https://www.cherylbroyles-gbm.com/?fbclid=IwAR0ZJyTheAJgm6rAwmmS5iVpifHTVYGPC4E0p3N-YeBB566w38OxHm6nAVg
https://www.thebraintumourcharity.org/brain-tumour-diagnosis-treatment/resources/surviving-terminal-cancer-film/
My first experience of Healing Circle was definitely great and touching because:
1) I felt I was fully visible when I was talking, I was not hiding my emotions for the first time in the past 2 years and people paid attention to me.
2) What I expressed was not being judged, this is called “non-judgemental acceptance” which has been my core pain area and reason for my stress many times. Because I felt I was always being judged during this battle of mine even in the times when I was drowned in diagnosis shock, during my transition phase from diagnosis till accepting the problem.
“Non Judgemental acceptance” is a big source of happiness. Everyone must practice this to make relationships better.
3) Freedom of speech, and acquaintance with like-minded people.
Mrs. Poonam shared her own journey with Breast Cancer and we are very much motivated with the way she is living life. She gives credit to her positivity, her husband’s care and her two daughter’s support for her
2 year battle with Cancer. She has maintained a very healthy routine and social lifestyle to tackle the stress and ensure healing. She shared that chanting relaxes her body and calms her mind.
I was amazed to see her full participation and the way she gave a warm welcome to all of us at her home. Her inspiring stance will definitely inspire many people to fight the battle of cancer. My heart melts at the thought that after 50–60 years of life when a person finally wants to feel little free, post-retirement, kids education and marriage , then is the time a couple can live together their unfulfilled dreams, have fun, plan holidays without need of approval, spend time on self and when at such stages they get caught by such illness, it’s just so depressing. But again when we see there is so much pain around and this is what is life, we should accept everything and move ahead positively.
Mr. Arun Kumar Batra, caregiver(Husband) to Mrs. Poonam Batra, shared his experience of caregiving for her Wife. He makes sure that he is always there for her in this battle. He has worked hard all his life which led to a flourishing modular kitchen business, well educated and well-settled kids.
It was good to know that his daughter is a doctor in the US and is helping them at every step from diet to medicines to choosing treatment lines and making sure Mom follows everything :)
Gautam hosted the healing circle very well, shared his caregiving journey for brother Nitesh. He is an active LHC member and is always on time:). He brought the LHC merchandises like Notepads, Cool ‘Don’t Panic’ T-shirts, stickers, coasters and LHC badges. All items were attractive and beautifully designed and each one of us purchased something.
Mr. Shyam expressed his deep interest in being an active speaker, a motivator to all those who would benefit from his caregiving experience for his wife who bravely battled colon cancer. He shared his healing journey and how sharing and socializing helped him overcome the pain of losing his wife. He wants to dedicate his time to serve so many others suffering.
Rahul as well showed his keen interest in healing via sharing. He has gained strength and is overcoming his sad part of life so that he can heal and support the needy. We appreciate his gratitude, his compassion.
Before concluding each one of us shared “I wish…”
Gautam confessed: “I wish I could have spent some more quality time with my Brother”. We all are so much absorbed in our ambitions, maybe studies, jobs, etc. that at times we miss spending quality time with our close ones. This happens with most of us, Gautam wished he could have talked a little more, shared a little more space with his elder brother.
Mr. Shyam shared: “I wish I could have discussed death with my wife during her last days, could have had a heart to heart conversation!” , We realize this is a tough part and those times are really so crucial that discussing death with the sufferer becomes a big No-No. But, that’s a solution that LHC is providing via Healing Circles.
Rahul confessed: “I wish that during my wife’s last days in ICU I could have got more time to spend with her, or instead had brought her home and spent few good moments”. Unfortunately, in India we are not allowed to spend more than 1–2 hrs in ICU with patients when the caregiver doesn’t want to leave his loved one for a second. I think the ICU rules in India must be changed so that one can spend more time.
We understand how bothering and tough it would have been for you, your family and little 3-year-old kid to go through this period. We are proud that after your suffering you are there for everyone to serve the purpose of healing.
Mr. Arun Kumar Batra & Mrs. Poonam expressed there wish to have more time to spend with their grandkids who are in the US. They cannot travel due to treatments and not being fit to fly.
Neha Goswami wishes to discuss her Mom’s disease with her which has not happened in 2 years to date post-diagnosis. I knew it is important to discuss with the patient about cancer diagnosis, but in our case, this somehow could not happen. We discussed treatments, appointments, feedback, plan, reports with Dad, Brother, and Bhabi, but not with Mom her self. Not because we were scared she won’t handle, She is brave and positive, but just because we did not have the courage to discuss it with her. We don’t know she has hints to the disease, but it just didn’t convert into conversation with her.
Dimple says “ I wish I could have not enforced the diet thing a lot on Nitesh”. She wished if she could have let him eat all that he wanted in his last days.
You made him feel so happy in his last days Dimple! He knew he has a loving Wife forever and that’s the most magical and blissful thing to make someone feel in this pure state!
So, one thing common we see in everyone’s wish is “SPEND Quality TIME FOR THAT HEART TO HEART TALK”. Just a cup of tea together!!! SO here goes the message I want to shout & spread ….
Please spend a good time with your loved ones around, because “memories of well-spent times give you power”
Followed by this heart touching conversations, were delicious finger-licking snacks served by Mr. & Mrs. Batra. We were graced with healthy Spinach sandwiches, mix fruit platter, caramel popcorns, Nachos, and Tea. Thank you so much for opening your doors for us and making most of this day.
Thank you, everyone, for being part of this Healing Circle.
LHC hosts Healing Circles every 1st and 3rd Sundays of the month. If you wish to become part of the healing experience check out the schedule on the LHC website — www.lovehealscancer.org or Facebook page — https://www.facebook.com/lovehealscancerofficial/.
