I don’t want a prince charming
On his attempt to make a video about characters in Doraemon, my best friend Aditya Prabaswara asked my point of view as a psychologist in Shizuka’s decision to choose Nobita, an average Joe, over Dekisugi, the prince charming.
If I’m Shizuka, a thousand times I would choose Nobita over Dekisugi and I’ll explain why becoming a prince charming or Jon Snow is not always an advantage.
Just in case you never read/watch Doraemon, here’s a little bit summary of the love triangle between Shizuka, Dekisugi, and Nobita (Scrolled down passed the italic letters if you already familiar w/ the story):
Nobita is the main character of Doraemon. The story setting happened when all of the main characters are in 4th grade. Nobita is often bullied. He’s one of the students with the lowest grades, constantly got 0 for math. He’s terrible in sport, his family is an average family, he’s not handsome as well. All of his life he’s been in love with Shizuka, the popular girl next door at school. Shizuka is pretty and smart, but not a model pretty. In the future, she become a typical ideal wife material. And then there’s Dekisugi. If there’s a checklist of a perfect man, Dekisugi will meet all of the criterias. He also fond of Shizuka.
In the end, Nobita and Shizuka got married, and no this spoiler won’t ruin any pleasure from reading the Doraemon series. Nobita ended up having a decent job. He’s not Steve Job, but he managed to be responsible with his life. He’s not a loser anymore, but become an average Joe with a stable income in Japan.
On Nobita’s bachelor night, all guys in their gank confess that at some point of their life, they have a crush on Shizuka, including Dekisugi. And Dekisugi is still fond of Shizuka. Yet Shizuka ended up choosing the most average guy amongst the group.
What makes Adit more confused is when there’s an episode when Shizuka went hiking alone. Since Nobita didn’t hear anything for some time from Shizuka, he got worried and using Doraemon’s magic tools to find her. He finally found her in the ice mountain, and yes she got caught up in a blizzard. But since Nobita is far from a muscular man, and Shizuka is fitter than him, instead of Nobita became the hero, Shizuka ended up has to take care of Nobita. They both ended up safe. Adit doesn’t understand why Shizuka didn’t lose interest after all of those un-manliness. So I told Adit that…
1. We Seek Partner for Our Own Survival
I agree, it’s important to be manly. I see how manly a man by the level of his ability and willingness to take care of my survival (or our child). Yes muscles could be an advantage to protect your family if somehow you got attacked, but in this modern era, financial stability is the better determining factor for your survival compare to your muscles. And Nobita, although he’s not super wealthy, but he is stable financially. He has enough resources to provide Shizuka and their future children with food, water, shelter, and health. Dekisugi might have the resources to provide for a woman as well, but if he doesn’t give it to Shizuka, it’s useless for her. And in the series, Nobita showed more evidences about his willingness to take care of Shizuka.
2. Not All of Investors are High Risk Players
When we want to invest in a mutual fund, usually there’s an assessment about our profile. Whether we’re fit for low, moderate, or high investment and then there will be suggestion about which investment product you should take.
Knowing that climbing a mountain would be extremely tough for Nobita, yet he’s willing to do it for you, if I’m Shizuka I totally understand that it’s quite a decisive factor to pick him as the husband. I don’t care how handsome and perfect Dekisugi is, if he’s not fighting for Shizuka, it’s not a surprise that Nobita is the one who won her over.
The harder a guy has fought for you, the lower the risk that he’ll leave you.
What about a guy who already fought for you but leave you anyway? Well if he hasn’t fought that hard maybe he leave you sooner than that.
My late friend once told me that it’s better to choose a guy who loves you more than you love him. In my early 20s, I don’t agree with that concept, but as I grew older, this perception is now makes sense. My senior colleague also told me that it’s better to be the one who got loved, again as a female. My other beautiful colleague also said that she choose her husband because he is ugly. And for her, that would reduce the risk that he will cheat on her in the future.
Prince charming has all good qualities according to the majority of the society standard. It means more girls will be attracted to him. Although he might be a loyal partner, the risk of him cheating will be higher if there are more girls seducing him.
My point is not all investors are a high risk player. So do women. If you’re a man and think that you have a weakness, it might be your leverage to get the moderate or low risk player.
3. Women Have Nurturing Needs.
Women have biological need to nurture. Shizuka, as a woman who comes from a loving family, needs to give her abundance of love to someone. And taking care of Nobita, gratifies her nurturing needs.
Again, what your lacking of, could be your strength point in the art of seduction.
Just like a product. People don’t always search for the most expensive house, they choose the one that they can afford and suitable for their needs.
4. Oh Well Dekisugi Never Really Say the Magic Words
At least there’s no evidence of it. Sometimes we try to find comprehensive explanation while the answer is actually very simple.
