cultivate synthetic happiness

The Wrong Toolbox

Fair warning: this is going to be one of those posts where I bring up a need, something that’s missing from the bulk of personal development blogs. In a nutshell, it’s our inability to cultivate synthetic happiness. I’ll…

living the life you wish

Freelancer’s Fantasy

Paging through Fast Company Magazine, years ago, trying to answer the gnawing question: “Gray, why aren’t your living the life you wish?” There is an ad for a resort in Northern England. Not the tropical kind of getaway…

love should be witnessed

Real Friends Watch Calphalon

Last night I served a very odd function: I was asked to be a “neutral observer” as two friends who are going through a divorce divided some of their property. The request was simple: watch them go through a list…

Let Life Organize Itself

Fighting the Waves

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love makes you happier

SitRep: Project Friends & Family

It was about six months ago that I made the decision to stop focusing on my career and my romantic pursuits. I was in a place where I’d followed a lot of the wisest advice I could find in both categories, and…

life isn’t out to get you

Life Doesn’t Care — Why Should You?

I’m kind of concerned that this is going to come across as a nihilistic post, when it’s certainly not intended as such. It was inspired by a recent article about motivation with the basic idea that…

make your memories of love personal

The T-Shirt and the Tears

I’m currently at a conference in Chicago which happens every year about this time and includes many of my dearest friends from all over the world. I get to see some of them on and off during the…

focus your power

When Good Advice is Hard to Take

Like most of us, I struggle to balance between my intake of media and the quality thereof. The Gravy Hose is a constant distraction, and it’s gotten to where it’s a triumph when I can make it through a movie or an…

real love

An AHA Screwdriver For Your Heart