Questions About Love.

#1

Name and explain in your own words the three types of love between people that philosophers have classified.

Philosophers use Greek terms to describe the three types of love. Eros, Philia and Agape.

Eros — described as “romantic” love. A love of passion and erotica, in essence meaning sexual love.

Philia — described as “friendship” love. A love that includes any friendship or friendship like structure. Family (Parents, siblings, children), colleagues and friends.

Agape — The most dificult to describe of three types. Love that does not rely on our own bias and attraction. For example, “.. the Christian God is said to have love for his children” (Halwani, 2010).

2. What, if anything, do these types of love have in common? What are some of the difficulties raised by the suggestion that there is something common to them?

Halwani (2010) suggests that a common thread amongst these types of love is a concern of happiness for the beloved. This can be a difficult argument. In Eros love, is love selfish? Is the lover concerned only for themselves? Or is there a genuine concern for their partner/s? Philia at first glance appears to be the most fitted for this definition of concern. However it is unrealistic to believe that a baby can feel genuine concern for the happiness of their parents. Agape love, almost, a universal love without bias and limitation, appears to fit well too.

The catch is that until you start to unravel the many possibilities involved in all three types of love, concern for the beloved, appears plausible.

Another interesting point to make involves reflection of self and of others. Does the concern stem from a need to reflect on one’s self or others? Is the concern for the beloved, for one’s self or the beloved’s sake? Is it understood to be true how an individual see’s it of through the eyes of the beloved?

Too many questions!

3.What do you understand by “romantic love”? Are there any essential features of romantic love (features the absence of which would imply that the relationship was not one of romantic love)?

As in the definition above romantic love appears to require a sexual desire, passion and erotica.

But more so than that, romantic love is distinguished by the love that people have for each other, not objects (although, people are sexually attracted to/involved with things that are not other people, so this may be flawed). Usually (and again, not always) is shared between only two people. A sexual desire is required unlike the love between parents and children (unfortunately this is not always true). Halwani (2010) suggests that is often results in marriage and procreation. However I disagree with this as the three essential elements of Egos can be felt between two strangers, say in a one night stand.

4. Why would it be difficult to explain the constancy of love (love’s tendency to remain constant despite changes in the beloved) if love were seen as an emotion?

The first thing that really jumped out at me while reading this chapter was that sometimes love lacks intention. If emotion requires intention for a person to “feel” emotion, can egos love be classified as an emotion.

Why does X love Y? Some philosophers argue that there need not be any intention.

If I am upset because my dog has died, I am feeling the emotion of sadness, with intention, because something dear to me has died.

See the contrast?

If emotions are based on beliefs, then if you love someone for being athletic and they change, no longer athletic, lazy.. why do you still love them? If the belief has changed, should the emotion too? It is important to know emotions are not always based on beliefs.

5. What are the difficulties of thinking of romantic love as a desire?

I have read and re-read and re-read this section of the text and I am still confused. From what I can tell, it appears thinking of egos love as a desire is troublesome, but how?

“We have no good reason, then, to reject the idea that romantic love is an emotion, so defining it as a set of desires is unnecessary” (Halwani, 2010, p. 15).

6. What is the role of feelings in romantic love?

Emotions = intentions, desires, feelings.

The aspect of actually “feeling” something is what makes feeling an interesting component of emotion. Anger, sadness, happiness, regret are all something we can feel. Halwani (2010) suggests that if emotions are felt then egos love cannot be an emotion.

If X loves Y, when X is engaging in a hobby they are not thinking about Y. Does this mean they do not love Y? Does a feeling have to be constant? No. It is possible to love someone for an extended period of time, without the need to constantly feel love. Therefor, it is still possible for love to be an emotion.

7. What is it for a feature to be “generally necessary” as a defining feature of something? (This is a question about philosophical methodology and about the logic of definitions, rather than a question about romantic love.)

Exclusivity. The absence of particular features, exclusive to, the particular “something” to be described.

8. Make a list of the generally necessary features of romantic love that you think are distinctive just of romantic love and of no other emotion or relationship. And explain what these features are.

As in Q3 the points made are valid. But to consider them as exclusive features of egos/romantic love is almost impossible. Most features are generally necessary of other types of love.

Right now, I do not know!

9. How would you distinguish infatuation from romantic love?

The general approaches to distinguishing infatuation from romantic love are kind and duration.

If given the opportunity does infatuation transform its self into romantic love, and cease to exist as infatuation?

My only conclusion, is that nothing is certain. AND everything is contradictory.