Choosing Love

Choosing love after having your heart broken sucks, but I’ve learned that denying or acting against the love you have for the person who’s causing you to break is hell on earth. Far better to let yourself remember and feel that love than to try and deny its existence. Far better to choose love than to try and hurt or get revenge on the person you love… or those who are still there to love you.

Why do people hurt the people they love during heartbreak? Well, we are taught that true love must require love being returned, or else we are fools… someone pathetic. So, we retaliate. We feel all that loving energy being blocked, so the energy is transformed into something evil and destructive. Is it justified? Of course. Heartache is the worst thing a person can feel, and someone you loved did it to you… through choice or through death. However, to act against that love is total self sabotage.

The alternative? Numb yourself, but that isn’t wise. Someday the anguish of what you’ve lost will resurface when you’re unexpectedly triggered and you’ll find that you’ve lost far more than the original loss due to your avoidance of the original grief. What you feel will be far more unbearable as you realize just how much you’ve let go due to your reluctance to really feel the pain of losing someone you love.

Anway, why choose love during heartache? Why choose love when the person you’ve given your heart to has crushed it? Because to do otherwise might cause you to believe that you don’t know what love truly is (you do know by the way). Because to do otherwise is to act against your true feelings. Because to do otherwise is to live a lie.

We become terrible creatures when we deny love… when we deny how we truly feel. We lie, we seek revenge, we pretend we don’t need others, we become workaholics, addicts… we give that energy to the opposite of love. That’s not the way to feel alive again. That’s not the way to find peace. That’s not the way you want to be remembered.

So, I encourage you to choose love, even when it feels like love has been taken from you. No one can take your love away. You gave it away to that person for a reason. Trust yourself. You made the right decision to give your love to that person even if you can’t remember why right now. However, we are all on our own journeys. We are all processing our experiences differently. The person who is blocking your love is just as confused about life as you are. We’re all pretty much clueless, but don’t let this pain change you. Don’t let this pain turn you into something unloving or something cold and cut off from the others that love you.

Finally, never forget that love is abundant. You don’t need to take love away in order to love another. You don’t need to cut off your love for one just because you find yourself in a position of having to let go of the person physically in order to live again.

If you can’t take the pain… If you don’t like who you’re becoming… just choose love.

I’ll leave you with this song from Moulin Rouge. It’s basically the back and forth many of us have in our own minds concerning choosing love again. Love lifts us up where we belong…