Rip it up and start again…

Ha — Whenever I come in here to write, I hear song lyrics playing in my head…

So as I write this I wonder, how many of you ever want to rip it up and start again?

Me too… As an online business owner it is becoming increasingly more difficult to show up and get traction in the ‘old ways’ — By that I mean putting pretty pictures on instagram and saying a few meaningful words…which is kinda why I decided to start to share more about what is coming up for me here.

I appreciate I could be shouting into an abyss of amazing writers, but I don’t actually feel like I have to ‘play to the crowd” here.

So, I want to share some real talk, even if its just for me.

For the past 9 months, I have been in deep turmoil around what to do with my business.

I started searching for answers in the all the wrong places.. outside of me.

I started falling for the pay to play narrative — something I have never subscribed to and almost always taught clients not to do. These spaces are amazing mirrors, one such space, instead of making me feel powerful and a leader just had me doubting every single step I took — I presented differently, I wasn’t slick, I like to talk about the shit and the shiny; but it didn’t feel comfortable at all …. And it was a lesson in what not to do in future…

I started self-sabotaging — things started to fall away. The high vibe clients I loved to serve where still there but money wasn’t flowing to any of us…tough gig when what I do is hard to measure or get ROI; and despite what some PR’s tell you — it doesn’t always lead to you landing that 6 figure client!

I started applying for ALL the jobs — freelancer gigs, admin at the local school, barmaid, global head of PR, PR exec… I was turned down for every single one. Because in my heart I knew it wasnt what I wanted. I had just lost my mojo.

I started to get sucked into social media land, believing the hype, yet again I knew is manufactured and designed to keep you going back for more. To the point I have now decided to turn it off for the moment and stop selling myself and my business.

My health took a turn for the worse, back pain lasted days on end — so my yoga practice slowed — my anxiety off the chart; and peri-menopause stopping me in my tracks whenever I want to try something new. You know that feeling… or maybe you don’t

I landed at ground zero probably about 3 weeks ago. Think of all the things you can possibly imagine going wrong… they did and I will write about those stories some day, but currently I am still moving through the grief I am feeling.

Then I started to explore myself, my human design, I began to listen to Joe Dispenza on repeat, I tried to actively re-wire my downward spiral. I booked the appt with the Doctor, I allowed myself to feel it all and then I began to make a new plan.

I wondered everyday how people keep going through the big stuff.

I know bottom line it is all about love.

Love is at the heart of everything we do, we feel.

Love is the backbone of ISPR’s offering.

When I move through these lessons it is there I have to dig so very deep to find love.

I know better days are coming.

I can feel the tide is turning.

I know that re-birth is messy, and painful and essential to move to the next chapter.

I am sharing all this because maybe somewhere in this share you might have experienced something similar.

3 weeks ago, I was ready to tell you all that I didn’t want to do it anymore.

That I didn’t want to promote other peoples stories — because it all felt insignificant — and because I was stuck in mine.

Where I have gotten too however, is it is other peoples stories and shares who have helped me through those past 3 weeks… that is where the gold lies.

In the stories that we share about our keeping it real moments.

The stories that help us to connect with other humans going through similar situations.

The stories that educate others to journey on another path.

It reminds me of why I do what I do. And why I love it so much.

If you are looking for a partner to help you share your story from a place of power, I would love to be yours.

Love, Sarah

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