10 Things You Should Know Before Dating a Single Dad

I was fresh out of graduate school living on my own for the first time. He already lived a lifetime, divorced with two preteens.

Bring on the Baby Mama Drama!
I bet he pays a shitload in child support.
Are you really ready to be a stepmom?
You deserve more.

I got that a lot when I first told people about my new boyfriend (now husband). I was naturally defensive (#nunyabusiness), but I realized this reaction isn’t uncommon.

Search “dating single dads” and the first few articles that pop up are about dealing or coping with the situation as if they had some sort of condition. This condition, better known as Fatherhood, can actually shape a man into the best version of himself. So before you swipe left, here are 10 things you should know before dating a single dad:

1. He is selfless. He doesn’t spend his nights at the club or fixate on fancy cars. In fact, his teen drove his car through the garage door and he kept his cool (sorta). He knows there’s more to life and values a secure future for his family.

2. He can sit through any chick flick. He did say “anything but Caillou” for movie night. Take liberties with the operative word anything.

3. He can weather the toughest storms. Any man who has ever endured the indignity of a custody battle is a hero, win or lose. You want a fighter like that on your team.

4. He knows what to expect during pregnancy and childbirth. If you’re an anxious first-timer, he’ll save you from the downward spiral that is Google Search. You mean that part can tear?! (faint)

5. He’s a master of surprise. He picked up a few tricks playing Santa over the years. Drop a few hints on your Pinterest board and you might get lucky.

6. He’ll strengthen your relationship with your own parents. It kills him when his kids forget to call. When he hurts, you hurt. Then you realize you haven’t called your own parents in a week (okay, month). PSA: Pick up the phone!

7. He has Dad Ears. When you say “nothing’s wrong,” he hears “I’m losing my shit.” He listens and gives sound advice, whether to his son about the bully at school or to you about your difficult boss.

8. He knows his way around the kitchen and can whip up a good meal. The Star Wars dinnerware is especially endearing.

9. He doesn’t expect you to be their mom. He wants you to be a part of their lives—not change who you are. Plus, if their mom is still in the picture, she has it covered. Let the parents do the parenting. You get to be Cool Aunt Becky from Full House.

10. He deserves a second chance at love. And if you can love him — and his children — unconditionally, you deserve to be his last.