3 Things Learned In 2 Years of Marriage
Marriage is fun. It sure ain’t easy, though. A two year covenantal relationship with my best friend has been significant in many ways. I want to share three meaningful reflections I’ve learned about myself and our relationship.
Marriage Is Better When It’s Not About You
I have discovered when arguments and/or disagreements take place in our relationship, I am usually too involved. What I mean is this: If I just take a step back and analyze where I am making the situation more about me than my wife, 99% of our arguments would not become so hurtful to each other. Winning arguments suck if the end result is dead silence and bitterness. There are times, ways, and places to discuss our offenses. But this must only be from the perspective of building the relationship, not my win column of arguments. I need a reminder everyday that my role is to display to my wife, and the world, that my undying, sacrificial love for her is a mere reflection of Christ’s unconditional love for all whom the Father has chosen. Marriage is about glorifying God. When I forget this fact, things begin to go terrible.
Marriage Is Better Without Social Networking
A little over a year ago, I decided I was going to drop Facebook. I was tired of trying to keep up with everyone’s opinions and (seemingly) perfect lives. Instead of encouraging my wife to deactivate her account as well, she eventually saw how freeing not having a Facebook account was in my life, that she decided she would follow my lead. Social networking is just as misleading as most of our favorite reality television shows. People’s lives aren’t as happy as they portray it to be, the food they post isn’t as good they want us to believe it is, and their opinions aren’t as insightful as they think them to be. I say this because that was our lives. Now, we enjoy life with what’s in front of us, together, and exclusively. Not sharing our every moment, movement, and plans with the world everyday has freed us to enjoy each other’s company more than when we were first married.
Marriage Is Both Work & Fun
With life comes moments of transition. Like I mentioned before, usually when I make everything about me, things tend to go bad for the relationship. So when change occurs and I am blindsided by it, I quickly need to be reminded that it is not the end of the world as we know it, and it is certainly not about me. I admit, this fact has been difficult for me at times, and I have purposefully handled situations sinfully. As a result, we’ve had to work together to take the problem I created to The Lord, and trust Him to fix what’s wrong in our relationship. My wife will admit she’s not perfect either. We are both learning how to forgive and ask for forgiveness. God has been faithful.
Life is also very fun. It is even more enjoyable when it can be shared with someone else. My wife and I, in two years time, have laughed harder than we’ve ever had together. We share inside jokes nobody else will ever understand. We are beginning to be able to give one another looks in public that no one around us understands, almost like our own little secret codes. We are learning how to understand each other’s feelings, which is very helpful when you don’t even know how you feel. We are looking forward to more vacations and stay-cations to build on these memories and much more.
Our Foundation
There is no such thing as a perfect marriage; but, there is a perfect God. Understanding this gives my wife and I a foundation and a base we can both find refuge in when we don’t understand one another, when we unnerve each other, and when our marriage doesn’t seem to make sense. Knowing God changes everything about our marriage and I would not change if the world were handed to me on a silver platter.
To my wife of two years: There will never be another woman for me as beautiful as you are, inside and out. My heart, my body, and my eyes belong to you.
Happy Anniversary!
