10 Ways to Be Effective in Advocating with Teachers and School Administrators

Guest Contributor /// Nicole Christensen of Ammon, ID

It was a warm morning in late summer, I had gotten up early to make breakfast, so the smell of bacon, pancakes, and maple syrup permeated the house. Also permeating the house was the exuberant spirit of my 5-year-old daughter, Claire, who was darting around the living room wearing her My Little Pony backpack, which she hadn’t removed for the three days she had owned it.

Her brothers and sister were not nearly so excited. Summer was over and the first day of school for them was to be dreaded. They were lambs, and the yellow bus which was now screeching to a halt in front of our house was to take them to the slaughterhouse. Dragging their feet, they sluggishly walked out the door. Claire skipped.

I walked out onto the driveway, calling her back as her skip had broken into a run. I knelt down and cupped her cheeks in my hands. “Mommy loves you, sweetheart. Have a great day and make lots of friends.” I had only a split second to straighten her braid before she bounded back towards the bus.

That’s when the tears came. The last of my babies, gone. In someone else’s hands.

For more waking hours than not, for more days than not, for more months than not, for more years than not, we turn our kids over to people in schools — people we entrust not only with the education, but often the love and care of our precious children.

As a mother, the only way I can do this in good conscience is to know that these people know me, that they value me, and that they understand the partnership we have in raising and educating my children. I need them to know that I’m passionately interested in how they teach, how they interact, how they discipline, how they praise, and how they effectively raise our kids.

In my case, because of the way I’ve seen my children embrace this style of teaching, I’m a passionate advocate for project-based learning. I am hardly a professional, but I have had some success in influencing my children’s teachers and administrators, while I’ve seen others struggle to gain traction. I’d just like to offer a few words of advice to parents who are also hopeful that their insight on their own children is valued and implemented in the school setting.

Here they are:

1. Warm up the relationship

People know when you’re buttering them up — it comes off as disingenuous and manipulative, so that’s not what we’re recommending here. The difference is as simple as being genuine. You warm a relationship by establishing common ground — what passions, interests, or hobbies do you share? Make opportunities to have conversation with your teachers — not just about the classroom.

2. Volunteer in the classroom

This is kind of the no-brainer tip, but I think it needs to be said. It doesn’t have to be for long, but spending time in the classroom is critical to having influence. How can you make assertions about atmosphere and offer suggestions if you’re not experiencing it first-hand? Having real examples about particular students and their specific needs can only add to your ability to provide valuable insight.

3. Go to meetings long before you need anything

If the first time you ever present yourself at a meeting is to complain and make demands, you’re not seen as a partner, but as an opponent. Becoming a partner is as simple as starting long before you ever have needs. I have a friend who volunteered to lay all the carpet in a charter school long before her children were school-age — guess who had instant credibility with school administrators the moment her children entered school.

4. Know what you’re asking for

Nothing makes people more crazy than aimless intentions. If you want something out of a teacher, a principal, or a superintendent, you need to know what it is you’re asking for and, importantly, you need to be able to articulate it. Research other schools, methods, and curriculum to find hard examples to establish a frame of reference. Come to them with something not just in mind, but in practice.

5. Ask for incremental, not wholesale, changes

Don’t expect to change in days programs and systems which have been in place for decades. Be content with pilot programs, experimental phases, or beta tests — that’s the only way to introduce new ideas, and if the ideas are good, the results will provide the proof to integrate them on a larger scale. If you wait until you get all of what you want, you might find yourself waiting far longer than you have time for.

6. Be a part of the solution

Every initiative needs a champion. Teachers and administrators have limited time and resources, so launching new endeavors is intimidating. If you are there, ready to lead the charge, they’re far more inclined to test the boundaries of their creativity.

7. Be liberal with praise

Negative Nancy never gets good results. Positive Patty, on the other hand, always gets what she wants. Sure there are things people can do better, and we all need to work on them, but you establish far more by building people up than you do undermining them. Praise teachers to principals, and principals to superintendents. It’s important to establish a reputation as someone who is a cheerleader, not a critic.

8. Don’t make it about your kid

Every teacher wants parents who care deeply about their child and are involved in their education, but too often parents’ desires for their children’s success override the needs of other students. Parents who advocate for their own children at the expense of their peers have an ugly, zero-sum perspective on education. The reality is that real, substantive enhancement to education for your child is enhancing it for everyone.

9. Make it a team effort

There’s a fine line between recruiting other parents and “ganging up.” Walk the fine line. Invite maybe one or two other parents to advocate alongside you and and you’ll provide breadth and depth to your voice. When your concerns and interests are echoed by others, they’re more likely to be taken seriously and heeded.

10. Don’t ever give up

It’s easy to become disillusioned and cave in to the status quo, but this is too important an issue to quit putting effort into. No one will work harder for your child than you will, so you have to be ready to give it more than is easy to give, and you’ll find that others are willing to give far more, too. By the time my oldest son completed fourth grade, his education featured two different traditional schools, a charter school, and home school. If nothing else, he believes that I’ll go to the end of the earth to advocate for him. And I will.

Nicole Christensen lives in Ammon, Idaho. She is a mother of four and a passionate advocate for project-based learning.