10 Ways I Successfully Became Securely Attached and So Can You
I used to have severe dating anxiety and an anxious attachment style. Now, I’m secure. This is exactly how I did it.
I still remember the first time I experienced the physical pain of anxiety. It was back in summer 2014. I had a big crush on someone and, while waiting for his response to one of my late-night texts, my heartbeat started to race and my chest felt strangely tightened. I thought I was about to have a heart attack.
I remember lying in bed unmoving, feeling powerless and insignificant. The chest pain got so serious and foreign to me that, after a short while, I decided to call an ambulance. A medic came and examined my chest. She said physically it was all okay, my heart was functioning well, so it could be psychological.
I was both relieved and worried. After a few more similar episodes, I soon learned that I had severe anxiety specifically related to dating. Suddenly, from being known as confident and assertive, I then had “emotional’ and “sensitive” as part of my identity — I felt ashamed. As I researched further, I also recognised childhood trauma and anxious attachment style in my relationship patterns.
