The 2 Qualities to Look for in a Partner
I grew up with two opposite father figures. They taught me what to avoid and look for in a serious partner.
I grew up with two father figures: one was my father, and the other was my late grandfather.
For the first ten years of my life, I lived with my parents, forming an attachment to my father. When my parents were too busy with their business, I moved to live with my grandparents and my grandfather acted like a father to me.
These two important men in my life are the opposite of each other.
My father is obsessed with work and emotionally unavailable for most of my life, while my late grandfather was a family man who would look after his family’s everyday needs.
Interestingly, my sisters, raised by my grandfather from the age of two, ended up happily married to two men who were very similar to my grandfather. Meanwhile, I spent most of my early twenties looking for my father in all the men I dated.
Not surprisingly, I chose emotionally unavailable men who put work before everything else and made me feel like I wasn’t good enough. Their lack of emotional depth and empathy often pushed me to the edge of my anxiety and sanity.
