The Man You Marry Vs the Boys You Dated

6 Lessons learned from my personal story

Ellen Nguyen
Loveful Mind
Published in
6 min readMar 13, 2021

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Any (heterosexual) woman who’s marrying the love of her life can tell the distinct differences between her future husband and all the people she dated before him.

There are many reasons she’s marrying him but not anyone else before him, and those reasons go far beyond just “the right timing.”

I realised this when I met my future husband.

I had no doubt in my mind when I said yes to his proposal because our present, day after day, was (and is) so blissful — I wouldn’t want it any other way or with anyone else.

This is profound to me because I’d never had a serious relationship before getting engaged and I used to think there was something wrong with me. I would be lying if I said the thought of settling had never crossed my mind then.

Luckily, I didn’t. As it turned out, I made the absolutely right choice to let go of all my past relationships. Those relationships were wrong, and I wasn’t supposed to be with any of those ex-partners, whether I met my future husband or not.

Also, I call them “boys” because, for the most part, while I was dating them, I was a girl myself. It took me a lot of time and effort to work on my emotional issues before I felt ready for…

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Ellen Nguyen
Loveful Mind

Freelance writer & digital creator | London based | Psychology BSc. Editor of LovefulMind.com, empowering women.