How important are orgasms, really?

At Touchpoint September, we delved deeper into orgasms, and the conversation got hot and heavy. Chances are the next Touchpoint will too; join our mailing list for details and tickets.

Sometimes, we tend to think of sex as a means to an end — a way to have an orgasm or give someone else an orgasm. But that can’t be all it’s about, right? Below are some of our biggest takeaways from Touchpoint September.

“When I think about the best sex I’ve ever had, it’s never the orgasm part that I remember. It ‘s everything before.”

There’s way more to sex than orgasms. It’s an experience. An opportunity to cultivate a real connection with another human being. A book that starts at the climax would be a short read, and probably not very good; a strong exposition is just as important to a successful plot — if not more.

“Don’t be so goal-oriented.”

There are no scoreboards in sex. No box office numbers or quarterly coming reports. There are just two (or more) people trying to have a good time and share a connection.

“Presence over performance.”

When we’re too wrapped up in how we’re doing, we fail to connect with our partner and how they’re feeling. An orgasm is awesome, and usually, we can achieve better orgasms together, when we’re totally present in the moment.

“Giving orgasms shouldn’t seem like a burden. It’s not a responsibility, it’s an act of love.”

Ask any kid who has to mow the lawn: when something feels like an obligation or chore, it can quickly lose its appeal. But when we approach giving pleasure as its own reward, when we want to give of our own volition, that’s when the magic happens.

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