Mom. Shoes. Memories.

I want to remember.

When I was five, I remember mom (Nanay) to be tall or that’s how we see our parents, tall and strong.

Mom, during a photo shoot I commissioned during her 81st birthday in 2020, a few weeks after the pandemic was upon us.

I have a memory of mom in her work clothes, always ironed and without any wrinkles, and she would ask me to shine her work shoes.

I distinctly recall the heels, they must be three inches, and to be honest, I tried them and wonder how Nanay can walk in those shoes. My reward would always be 25 cents.

It’s been years since mom can wear her own shoes, or be in heels.

She can barely stand up, she no longer looks tall and strong. She’s weak and frail.

This morning, I made her choose “the clothes.”I want her to be pretty, the way I remember her when I was five.

Mom, you will soon wear your heels and dance to some 50s music.

Go, boogie, Woogie. Mom, but like love, we can’t hurry the dance.

I know for sure your Papa will be waiting to be your first dance once you get to heaven.

Love you,

Nap

Grief never goes away.