i am tired

i am tired right now as i write this

but i want to write at least once a day

don’t edit, don’t filter, don’t delete and don’t slow down

but when you are tired, your brain slows down

and it kind of hurts to think

but mostly it hurts to think of how badly you write

when your brain slows down

you look like a clown

and the audience frowns

so even now, after all of this work to be brave

after making my writing lowercase and throwing out all grammar rules

after coming to terms with being disliked and being imperfect

something sneaky inside of myself still wants to be stylish

still wants to publish only when i am at my best

and only say the best, and make the best arguments

quality must be sacrificed at the alter to quantity

if i truly believed that all words are good words

then i would stop this sacrilige

and just make noise

then look!

look at the noise i have made

and be amazed at the meanings contained

in the morning when a fresh and active mind

considers well the ravings of a midnight lunatic