mundane shit

i have to shave every morning

once a week i have to shave my whole body

about that time i have to clip my finger nails

about once a month my mother gives me a haircut

yes, my mother, when she’s around

i use a tongue brush, as well as a tooth brush

i have no cavities

my palms sweat most days, and it makes me nervous to shake hands

and it makes my keyboard gross

so i’m always washing my hands and cleaning my keyboard

i have to pee at least twice at night

peeing with an erection is a major problem

and men don’t want to talk about it

but it is a major market opportunity

urinals make a lot of sense actually

water leaves mineral stains on glass

so my parents insist that we clean the shower panes

and when we don’t do it fully, they do it

sand makes it really hard to enjoy the beach

even when you live only 15 minutes away

it’s such a pain in the ass

when i am at home, i probably am spoiled

i don’t take out the trash or do the dishes, usually

my bed sheets are itchy sometimes

i masturbate less than i used to

i wonder if it is because i am exhausted by work

or if it is because of privacy

or if it is because i have grown philosophically

and my views of women and pornography and imagination

are such that finally i am content being just patient

or whether i’m getting old and my libido is slowing down

why is it hard to be frank about the details?

is it because they are boring or is it because we are ashamed of them?

why don’t these subjects come up in conversation?