Verbal Prison: How To Spot and Escape The Kafka Trap

The final instalment in the penguin guide to bad faith debates

Photo by Damir Spanic on Unsplash

“Men who don’t get on board with the #MeToo movement don’t respect women in the slightest” (Kerry, circa 2017)

“Of course, it’s the ones that are supportive that women really have to watch out for” (Kerry, 30 seconds later)

And so began my first conscious interaction with the infamous Kafka trap. Her words were delivered in the wake of the Harvey Weinstein arrest and Kerry’s comments were in keeping with other rightfully angry voices up and down the country. This was a moment of empowerment. A moment of change.

At least the first comment was. The second one… not so much.

In one fell swoop, she had removed any tenable position for men to take in the discussion. It worked like a charm, I watched the males in our friendship group squirm in their seats, suddenly uncomfortable. I suspect this may have been Kerry’s intention.

In her mind, she’d won a clear victory and basked in the ensuing golden silence.

This marks the first time I really noticed the Kafka Trap. I felt bad for those guys. I mean, not terrible and I didn’t lose any sleep — but certainly bad for them. Despite Kerry’s assertions none of them…