Curious, playful, questioning, open ended and creative.
I have an ability that I don’t know what to do with.
I’m good at solving problems. Good at making messy things clear. Good at finding the essential elements of a thing and amplifying those. Good at crystallising the destination.
I find myself doing this stuff in ways that can feel hard-edged and bossy.
When I do this I feel like I place myself outside the group I am working with and I somehow make myself responsible for the group getting it sorted and everything being ok.
If I was to have an image for what is going on when I am in this state it would be that I feel like my brain is on its own solving the problems. It is like I have forgotten that my brain is a part of my body. I am pretending that thinking can happen without movement.
It is not a particularly pleasant experience for me.
There is another space where I look at the world in a curious, playful, questioning, open ended and creative way. When I do this I feel like I draw from the well of all of me and the things I have to offer.
I would like to bring more of these qualities to the ‘problem solving’ that I do but I am worried that it won’t lead to the ‘outcomes’ and ‘clarity’ that I value so highly.
My instinct is that it will, but there will be more ambiguity along the way.
I won’t really know until I have a play.
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