I burst into tears.

Dear Self,

I walked into my studio yesterday and burst into tears.

I had just been making a cup of tea and when I bought it back into the studio I saw the light streaming in and hitting the desk that I had pulled under the window to sit at and write.

On the weekend the studio had been used for Campfire, all morning I had been using it for a movement practice and then there I was sitting in the sunlight writing.

I couldn’t believe how lucky I was to have this space to do these amazing things in. I was overwhelmed with gratitude and I cried.

That’s never happened to me before.

I had been through a huge 3 days and then had one night without sleep across the weekend so all my defences were down.

But these were genuine tears of joy.

Of course now I am worried it is all going to be taken away. That I don’t deserve this and that bad luck must just be around the corner. Waiting for the proverbial shoe to drop.

Even if that happens I will be so pleased that I had this time to do the things I am doing now.

The only thing I can do is to continue to nurture all the things I have been nurturing and then hope for the best.


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