Coveting Your Cloudberries
Ah to wander amongst the clouds of parodies, plucking here and there as one will, to make a trivial little wordcloud out of them. Is this not the purest bliss — don’t answer that!
But it is I, returned once more to tell, I am stealing yo shit!
And so without further dew, let’s dooooo it.
Let’s steal those plums and leave some half-hearted apologies!
As always that gang of crazy kids at the Hitmagist have made a lovely little playlist to listen along to while reading about the Scoundrels acts of wanton fruit-nabbing.
And the Scoundrel’s favorite thing, other than seeing your face when you open the refrigerator and find a plate without plums that has a little note with lovely handwriting on it, is a fully working discussion on MakingLight
And the Posts found where
This is just to say
I have found the data
that was in the databasewhich you were
trying to deny existedForgive me
I’m tired
and the data was
in the database.
And
This is just to say
I have flushed the pages
that were in the cacheand which
you were probably
saving for reuseForgive me,
they were dirty,
and this needs
a punchline
And
This is just to say
I have written
a comment
which has been
moderated.
And that’s it, seems like a very IT focused round of this is just to say.
NEWS REPORT
Cool, a special news report in which the reporter — in need of an opening line — decided to start with so much depends on!
Giants need Fatso’s bat to carry weight
So much depends on
Fatso the Third Baseman
glazed with rainwater
and swinging a bat
Original Link No Longer working: https://www.pressdemocrat.com/article/20131123/sports/131129754
Leading to the bane of the scoundrel (even worse than locked fridges)
But not to worry — Archive.org has us covered!!
It turns out that the guy who is being talked about in this article is not actually named Fatso, this is just something the columnist is calling him because I guess he put on weight
So much depends on Fatso the Third Baseman.
For the San Francisco Giants, that is.
The Giants are in desperate need of a power hitter, and Fatso, in smaller incarnations, has been that guy.
Classy.
The link that these poems were taken from was
http://monahoward.com/2012/02/16/this-is-just-to-say-parody-2/
which the site does not exist anymore, and archive.org does not have a copy of it either, so at this point the only thing remaining of this is the visualization of the poems above and my totally super sincere apology for the visualizing done.
NEW REPORT
More so much depends in the news.
Hunters have sights on more deer
on the weather
and (mating) activity
glazed with rainwater
beside the white chickens
Forgive me,
But you should really get a room.
The link above leads to an actually dereferenceable home page, but this content requires a subscription! The scoundrel is too wicked to subscribe, he snatches and pirates and sends a weepy email regretting his actions later. Geez.
This link works
The poem is by Tammy Ho Lai-Ming and is split into three parts:
i.
When we are laughing
at your joke,
I slap your face.Forgive me.
I want to show you my love,
but the truth isI don’t know what I am doing.
ii.
I tear a page
from your Portuguese dictionary.I’m sorry, but it is
so welcoming.I am jealous of you thumbing
the dictionary instead of me.iii.
You’re a marvellous cannibal.Forgive me.
I want to be provocative.
And you’re reallya good eater
and it’s not beyond my personato say so.
To which I, the scoundrel who steals fruit and apologizes insincerely, respond:
Tammy, I’m taking your poems and
wordclouding them
the most trivial form of visualization there is
Sorry,
but we must all follow
the dictates of our will.
NEWS REPORT
A news report with this is just to say in it.
That the average Christians typically
doesn’t weigh the evidence for the Resurrection,
arrive at a 52.3% likelihood,
and thus become a convert.
Forgive them,
For they know not
the cold statistics.
Also a site, but for how much longer? Text isn’t styled, css missing
Another good harvest from Laura Harris’ blog
So Much Depends (Final Verison)
So much depends on a Hershey’s bar,
so sweet and satisfying,
bringing comfort during tears
and smiles to a comfortable conversation.
So Much Depends (Initial Version)
So much depends on a Hershey’s bar,
so sweet and satisfying in its composition,
it brings smiles in the midst of tears
and joy in the midst of a comfortable conversation.
This is Just to Say
This is just to say I should have left your tennis balls alone,
Even though it was a perfect evening,
Even though I needed the activity,
Even though it was beckoning from its unused position,
I should have asked you first.
NEWS REPORT
Another reporter just dropping some “this is just to say” into their copy, because you’ve got to have a nice way to get from one thought to the next.
that no explanation can exhaust experience.
It can only provide a perspective within a specific context.
All we can do is contextualize and re-contextualize what we experience.
Like coming down for Breakfast
And finding no goddamn plums!
Also still around, pretty good odds for sites using “this is just to say” in their texts without actually thinking, hey this is a line from a famous poem I’m using.
This is Just to Say
We have jumped
in the leaf pile
that was outside
the College Club
and which
you were probably
going to suck up with
that vacuum-truck thingy
Forgive us
it was such a big pile
so colorful
and so leafy
NEWS REPORT
And another this. is just to say in the news of 2013–2014. What a strange, poetic time that was.
Kentucky Auto Fraud: Researching the Dealership
that you should contact a lawyer because
I took the plums
from the ice-box
which you were probably saving for breakfast.
Forgive me,
but I am not going to talk more on this issue
based on my own lawyer’s advice.
actual quote from article on Kentucky Auto Fraud using “this is just to say”
.This is just to say that you should contact a lawyer because laws exist to protect consumers from the predatory tactics some car dealers use to make a quick (and highly profitable) sale.
If I was a predatory auto dealer you know what I would do?
After making my quick and highly profitable sale I would slip a little passive aggressive note into the transfer of ownership papers about how I was sorry to have taken advantage of their gullibility, but damn, I like money!
People love to receive little passive aggressive sorry notes in verse form!
This has been another wonderful outing of the scoundrel who steals fruit and apologizes insincerely, as you know the scoundrel loves stealing your fruit and saying sorry about it, and here he did some great ones.
Once again — here’s the Playlist from the Hitmagist.
