Forgive Me, Fruit-Lovers
Before we get started, a little music please
Featuring that wonderful song, sung by everyone’s favorite country rockers Robert Frost and The Zeppelins!
A Stairway To Apple Picking Time
If there’s a bustle in your hedgerow, don’t be alarmed now,
It’s just a divergence for the May queen.
Yes, there are two roads you can go by, but in the long run
There’s still time to change the road you’re on.
so I took the road less traveled by
And it makes me wonder
What the difference is
And it makes me wonder
When it’s Apple Pickin’ Time
Wow, they don’t write them like that anymore! They don’t but I do, for I am THE SCOUNDREL who steals fruit and apologizes insincerely. Hey, how you doin’? Nice to meetcha! Hey, uh, you wouldn’t happen to have any delectables, consumables or just plain valuables laying around wouldya?
Alright, but you probably know what this is — The Scoundrel used to have a project where he went around the internet gathering parodies of famous poems and wordclouded them, the most trivial form of visualization there is and then said a few smarmy sorries about it all.
That all got put away years ago, but here we’re dusting it off again
and now that’s you’re caught up to speed, here’s this weeks selection of stolen fruits fresh from the vines of 2013–2014.
Great find, a selection of This is Just to Say parodies written in the voice of toddlers
This Is Just To Say, Mommy
I woke you up
last night
ten times
in five hoursand now
you’re probably
feeling
tired todaySo sorry, Mommy
maybe you should
go to bed
earlierSorry About Last Night’s Dinner, Mommy
I refused to eat
the five dinners
that you made
for meI only wanted
pickles
and goldfish
and chipsDon’t be mad
you can do better, Mommy
goldfish and pickles
are so salty
and so crunchyThis Is What Happens When I Miss Mickey, Mommy
I shrieked
in the grocery store
from my cart prison
for 30 minutesYou got
looks of pity
and you begged me
to stopSo sorry
you got upset
I wanted to watch
Mickey Mouse
It’s nice when stuff is still there years later, even if that means I don’t have much to write about.
This is just to note that there are zombie parodies, and they’re still there!
This is Just to Say
I have eaten
the brains
that were in
your craniumand which
you were probably
saving
for grad schoolForgive me
they were delicious
so gray
and so warm
And this is in fact a reference to a MakingLight thread
So you should definitely check out both and tell them, if you see them, the Scoundrel says hello and sorry about taking all your plums, apples, and whatnots.
So this is from Mia Dyson’s personal site
And back when the Scoundrel was first out gathering up this fruit from people’s fridges and leaving them nice little thank you / sorry notes in recompense, she had some lyrics at this url
https://www.miadyson.com/lyrics-2/the-moment-lyrics/
But now all that shows is
But that’s soon rectified with a visit to the great archive.org (please support them)
https://web.archive.org/web/20130103061201/https://www.miadyson.com/lyrics-2/the-moment-lyrics/
Lots of lyrics here, but the one we are concerned with
Two Roads
Two roads appear in the desert eve
And I, helpless to choose
For both could be empty, what can I see
In the headlights as night time descends
The silhouette of a distant sceneThe first is lined with gravel and stone
Twisting away into scrub
The other is paved, it may be safe
Though as for that who passes knows
And it goes on into setting sunNothing is sure in fading light
Are thieves waiting in the black
To take from me possibility
How can I choose only one
And leave the other road unknownI will remember this turn, sometime
So many miles from now
Two roads appeared in the desert night
I took the one less travelled by
Who knows what difference it made
WHOA, thanks for the apples I’m picking here.
Yeah, Cam Meekins, a wonderful human being who decided to contribute his lyrical knowledge to the site known as rapgenius
but now is just Genius.
Anyway Cam is no slouch in the brains department either because he managed to put two roads diverged together with some nice grooves.
It’s no Robert Frost and The Zeppelins, man, but it’ll do.
Fun fact, later on Robert Frost left The Zeppelins and started his own electronica act —Applelets (not even a The, just Applelets, extremely edgy) and released songs with lyrics like the following
This is just to say
I have dismantled the red wheel barrow
and placed it in the icebox,
on top of the frozen chicken
which you were probably planning
on having for dinner.
Forgive me,
but
Everything collapses with logic.
— which caused Geffen Records to sue them for not sounding like his previous hit group.
This of course led to Frost’s complete mental breakdown and retreat from society, coming back with only one album since then, the stripped bare-bones acoustic rocker Rime-Frost On the Window Pane.
I will leave you now, with the lyrics of my two favorite tracks from this vanished masterpiece.
Socks, Shirtwaists, and Saving the Union
a Decent Pair of Socks
completely soaked in the mud
and chickenshit.
Party without blues
This is just to say
the more you restrict people,
the more they are likely to rebel
and try to break free.
This tendency could manifest itself
in an increased number of crimes.
So sorry about those plums.
As usual the Agents over at the Hitmagist have made a playlist for this article, to play while reading the nefarious escapades of that well-known scoundrel and how he says sorry with that special twinkle in his eye — here you go!
