IG Highlights — Poems of the Batman
IG Agent 112, an anonymous fellow who lives a peaceful uneventful life in Gotham City with only his butler and socialite party girls for company, sent us a poetry submission, it was originally published on Illuminati Ganga’s Twitter feed but as we like to focus on the quality submissions in our other media channels here from time to time, we have gathered it all together here for your delight. Be delighted!
The initial post was this one
But we are not going to paste in a bunch of tweets as that seems not as useful for this format, so without further ado
Poems of the Bat and Man
You have heard and I have heard
of many things quite absurd
of parsnips in thimbles
of Dr. Richard Kimble
of thieves both smart and nimble
but stand you now with arms akimbo
for I have something beating that —
In Bruce Wayne’s House there is a bat!
A bat in the house that Bruce Wayne has,
It flew through the window and began to spazz,
why could it not a belfry haunt?
this house is not made for a jaunt!
Oh infernal beasties of awful rep
The Bat came in while Brucie Slept.
There are more things beneath cave and lair
and also some things beneath the stairs,
there are things that crawl through monster hair,
but of all things you must beware,
and at their presence your forces roust
That’s the Bat inside Bruce Wayne’s House!
So Bruce Wayne has his forces raised,
Alfred Pennyworth has this bat appraised,
and others too await the battle of the bat,
the bat is rattled, it squeaks and flaps and makes a scene,
This furshlugginer mansion was once serene!
It was a house quite nice to be,
although once there got in a humblebee
once a rat came to pillage,
but liked it so much and made a rat village,
in the lovely attic where owls dine,
But Bruce Wayne has bats on his mind!!!
Well, there we have it. The poetry of a totally normal person possessed of great mental equilibrium.
However as we were rushing this post to publication another disturbing tweet came to light:
Anyway, this idiot doesn’t know it’s spelled twittizen. But as you can see this asserts that Bruce Wayne, the subject of our anonymous poet’s poem is also the Batman! However who would believe Superman? As our previous IG Highlights post made clear: Superman is a Dick!
