It’s Groundhog day, it’s always Groundhog day.
Well, It’s Groundhog Day — Again, Again it’s that day.
What the heckeroonie peoples! I just got out of that one groundhog day scenario where people kept offering me food that needed Ketchup but I couldn’t use any Ketchup with the food!! I could have starved!
So I woke up this morning — 214 mornings ago — I got a message from my ex — Jeanie Van Damn
We had an exciting, vibrant relationship which was 60% great sex and 39% me getting assaulted, and 1% bank robbery.
It figures when we broke up she would increase the rate of bank robbery.
So she sends me a text from jail, how she got the phone in? A gentleman does not ask.
Maybe that ex of mine is bad news…
Ok well I just bailed my ex out so I guess I can do go back, but hey this looks exciting I guess I go take a look see
WOW, there is a lot of cool stuff down here
WAIT — something’s coming!!
AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH
Wait — not this agan!
I’m detecting a pattern here..
Ok maybe I can make this work out this time
in the end am I the spider spinning the web, or instead trapped in a vaster more complicated web spun by some spider more dangerous and venomous than I am?!?
Also — what does all this have to do with Sarasota?
The preceding posts were delivered on audio tape from a dead letter drop in the 1990s, and was recently reconstructed to show a clear data pattern. Decrypting the data pattern allowed us to extra the messages displayed above and a single signature
— IG Agent 9
Advanced Space Leprosy
One time I was in love with a guy but he ended up having advanced space leprosy so we broke up, it was sort of a bad breakup. Feelings were hurt, but then some years later I got a text
So despite his awful space leprosy I thought there might be something still there, I remembered nobody could make me laugh like he could. It was a deep, paranoid laugh that lasted slightly too long and verged too close to madness.
It was a madness redolent of the swamplands, of forbidden rituals and murder. A laugh like the devil, freed of all restrictions. Yep, he sure could make me laugh, so I wanted to see him again.
So I went out front to wait for him
What’s that? I have to go downstairs
to return to my ex?
AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH
Stupid inverted doubled up groundhog day.
— IG Agent 27
OTHER RESOURCES
As you will no doubt have noticed we referenced tweets from the following people who are not members of Illuminati Ganga — check them out
non-aesthetic things — @PicturesFoIder
non-aesthetic things is the best page in the world. As far as pages go this one is 10 times better than any squire you would want to put against it. This page smokes the damn squires.
Damien Scott — @MadScientistFF
Creating Engagment One Tweet At a Time… I Ask Questions You Want to Answer.
WiseConnector — @wiseconnector
Relatable, engaging & interactive posts.
Papa Woof und Krampus und Bleaken — @woofknight
eclectic creature of the night, loves cooking, horror & spending time with those I love. Enjoying life and making the best of it. #FFBMovieNight #WerewolfChef
CCTV IDIOTS — @cctvidiots
Exposing idiots behavior from all over the world caught on camera.
Other Articles of Interest in relation to the Agents involved in this article
Agent 9 used to be part of the DJs of Evil and do music reviews but then he went off the deep end
Agent 27 generally does graphics and design work, so a good deal of her work has been displayed in this publication.
She suggests that if you are stuck in a time loop, wear her designs to make your day a bit brighter
