Kiwi Kleptomania!
They say the first 100 thefts are the hardest , and I believe it! One thing I did with the original Scoundrel was to write each post as a tiny parody of this is just to say by William Carlos Williams — you may have heard of it? Of course as time wore on I also parodied other poems that I was doing visualizations of parodies of (what a strangely formed sentence)
And so to celebrate the first 100 posts of the scoundrel stealing fruit and apologizing as well as he is able which is perhaps not very well at all, sorry bout that, I did something perverse and despicable — I wordclouded my own parodies of parodies!
Crazy stuff!
Another parody found at allpoetry — the world’s largest poetry site (disregarding the members only Illuminati Ganga sites of forgotten poetry only composed in dreams, by non-humans, or scribbled in the margins of books by perverted bored monks [those guys were insatiable!])
And speaking of pervs — somebody remembers the non-hit parts of Purple Rain and nasty Prince
The Poem
This is just to say . . .
. . .I have walked in
on you
while you were
getting ready
for workYour body was flawless
it was hard to stop staring
I left the room
before you could
noticedForgive me
living with
you, sister
doesn’t put into words
but please
lock your door
next time
I don’t know who this David Delaney fellow is but evidently he was one of the many people who posted This is Just to Say parodies to MakingLight. Unfortunately the page of his comments is of course totally white. However as always Archive.org comes to the rescue!
The Poems
From Comment February 25, 2013, 05:53 PM:
this is just to say
i have borrowed the plums
you had stored
in the icebox
which you were probably
saving for
a hamburger
on Tuesday
Forgive me a
surplumcharge
for their return
so brash
and so bold
From Comment September 05, 2011, 10:29 PM
Elevated Plumb-Lines, Mash-ada, or
— one babblefruit, reduplicated
I have raided
your heart
for the love
you keep there
and which you were
probably saving
for later
extravagant lifting
Forgive me
as I forgive you;
I was led
into temptation -
dulce et frijorem est,
just sayin’.
From Comment September 02, 2011, 11:58 PM
this is just to say
in a language not my own
sweet plums in Hittite
From Comment August 28, 2011, 04:23 AM
This is just to say
I have stolen a march
on the armies
you had hidden away
and which
you were probably
holding
in reserve
Forgive me
it was tactical
so quick
and so bold
From Comment July 21, 2010, 11:33 AM
this is just to say
i have consumed
the sparkly vampire fiction
that was on
the bookshelf
and which
you were probably
saving
for a desert island
Forgive me
it was repetitious
so fraught
and so cold
From Comment pril 02, 2010, 12:04 PM
this is just to say
i have opened
the icebox
the plums were in
an abyss of light
which you were
probably saving
for revelation
shone out
Forgive me
I put in a webcam
and shut the door
to see if it became
an abyss of darkness
it was experimental
repeated
and bold
From Comment March 20, 2010, 01:56 AM
this is just to say
I have added
the footnotes(1)
which you were
probably saving(2)
Forgive me(3)
(1)that were in
the icebox
(2)for breakfast
(3)they were delicious4
(4)so sweet(5)
(5)and so bold
Thanks Dave for making your parodies available to the Scoundrel to steal and wordcloud, the least original and pedestrian form of visualization there is! The Scoundrel would like to say that perhaps some mistakes have been made and he is sorry if anyone has been hurt by him being a scoundrel.
COMICS
It’s pretty nice to see some cartoons riffing on the whole William Carlos Williams I’m an asshole and I took your stuff but look I left you a nice note which powers the existence of this very project.
Still, I have to say, about the second comic, I think if an English Major can barely manage to replace plums with Vodka in their parody they should probably switch majors. I mean that is the scoundrel being as nice as he can possibly be, I could say some other choice things but then I would probably have to apologize afterwards — and as you know I don’t do that very well.
I mean really I would get annoyed at this room mate, not because they stole my vodka, game respect game, but because they did the laziest poetry parody imaginable, a poem that was essentially 1 word change (there may be be some small stop words alteration, in the spirit of the subject I’m not going to go compare, didn’t notice). That’s bullshit,
I would probably have strangled them for long enough to make my displeasure clear instead of just swearing, game does not respect lame.
</COMICS
More poems from Allpoetry
https://allpoetry.com/poem/7339414-This-Is-Just-To-Say-by-Jenn.L.B.
You know I have to give a site credit that has existed so many years and the urls still resolve. Good job allpoetry.
The Poem
This Is Just To Say
I made a big mess. A very big, gross mess.
It’s all over your room. It’s gross and it smells.
You force yourself to stay awake to
Stay with me all day in that uncomfortable
hospital chair. You could have…
Should have been at home sleepingI made a mess of everything
Sheets blankets and all.
Woke up 3 or 4 hours later with
Needles in my arm. Now
I have a mess to clean up!This is just to say thank
You for everything you did for
Me and sorry for my mess
I hope you forgive me.
And here we have some more Robert Frost parodies from Allpoetry
“Two Roads Diverged in a Yellow Wood.”
“Two roads diverged in a yellow wood.”
I pondered which one to take.
I did not wish to decide,
for fear of making a mistake.
I wished to understand
where both roads would go,
and I was content to stay
till I knew what I wanted to know.
It is true I had the foresight,
and the wisdom to ponder.
But, I could not see
what lay out yonder.
So I stood in a trance,
an indecisive slumber.
Time accelerated on,
and my age increased in number.
I was enraged!
How could I keep going?!?
The pain was too much!
I can’t travel without knowing!
But slowly a piece of wisdom came,
in the form of verse.
I took the sage’s advise,
and broke the self imposed curse.
I decided to make a choice
and tread the road less traveled.
I broke my bonds of foolishness
life’s mystery was unraveled.
I learned a valuable lesson
from the poem by Robert Frost.
If you don’t take chances in life,
the purpose in it is lost.
I say this not as a wise man,
but one who has made enough mistakes.
You must move along, come what may.
That is what living life takes.
Also good, AllPoetry, Love ya Babe.
Since this is the outing of the scoundrel with the wordcloud of his previous outings, instead of our usual thing of having the fine Agents at the Hitmagist making a new hitlist we will instead put together all our previous scoundrel hitlists into 1, with some minor edits to make it all hang together.
Previous Outings of The Scoundrel
And of Course — The Original!
